A Tale of Storied Tackle Pox



. . .

The following is a document of nearly everything: pallid do-it-yourself guides for constructing cardboard ziggurats, solo squirms utilizing fishy (read: dubious) headgear, and tendencies towards interrupting public forums with a litany of ill-informed notions of physics and social norms, including but not limited to wearing nothing but a ventilation hose, waving bad signage at people, squeaking packing tape, and lectures examining the four major elements; basically, details suitable for a dada-inspired crockpot relegated to the kitchens of yore, i.e., mesmerizing obscurity. Also featured here are group collaborations, parades, radio appearances, the off-and-on art installation, athletic and offensive actions, art errorism(s), religious paintings (helping unfettered solace organize*), stinky shirts, and tours featuring a litany of cohorts, buddies, and even the occasional nimrod. Please bear in mind that making this list cohesive is an ongoing process, and as such, the grammar might be a few apostrophes off. Also acknowledged here are the egregious blanks in the timeline, aka "BC" or "Before Crank"; those early pre and post art school hangover years, circa 1991 through 1997. All that is to say, we find this to be a reasonably enjoyable, albeit slightly indecipherable codex, and hope that you do too! So, find a comfy chair, grab some ciphers, squint thine eyes, and let the scrolls unroll!

Crank Sturgeon


"Be You're On Boss" Effin A and on with the immaterial! Sturgis Cronkite zoomed out to the biblical desert by way of trade winds and lust to do a sitdown lecture on pathos, piezos, and piebald isms; expertly implemented by channeling a hoary high desert persona using that old AV suit jacket and the circa 2o16 HS Annex bicorneous twostep hybrid. Pocket noise? We got you. Suitcase of curdling clangorous clatter? You are herd. Beatnik Lounge, Joshua Tree, CA 03.02.24
"Sciaticaryptic" Well and howdy. Crank found his old tin cup, donned a new Amazon Fulfillment Beluga Inversion, and joined the ranks of his noise brethren, Cole and Jess of War Hippy for an eastern trek to far, far away New York. Witnessing first hand accounts of sleep deprivation, omen foxes, off coloured humour, and even bouts of food poisoning, the trio nevertheless cast sonic palls with countless old pals and welcomed new family audiolings to the global commune of ecstatic sound; furthermore landing relatively unscathed at their destination with glorious aplomb and facemelt. The roster reads as follows:
Glob, Denver, CO 03.30.24
Project Project, Omaha, NE 03.31.24
Tritriangle, Chicago, IL 04.01.24
Tympanum, Detroit, MI 04.02.24
Government Center, Pittsburgh, PA 04.03.24
Ende Tymes Festival, TV Eye, Ridgewood, NY 04.04.24
"fore and twenty" Amidst a haze of whorls and tamales, Crank joined his comrades War Hippy and Carla Bozulich for an afternoon session of yodelsome roar-sharking. We're pretty certain there was an influence of something other than kombucha or government surveillance droning going down as well; let those matters be determined by another failing democracy. Fast Blast Backyard Bonanza 8, Los Angeles, CA 04.20.24
"the eyes have it" As a followup to the prior din, Crank affixed the eyes from that last tour's AFBI to the circa 2o16 HS Annex bicorneous twostep hybrid, packed some AB/Errs and Magnet Opus, and returned to the city for a terribler AV suit jacketry reduction ceremony; welcoming himself back into the fold of noisesome hermits, pariahs, and purplists with a bzap frenetic on pulses, oh Beuys, and a treatise on being nice to each other. HIAH 13, (the) Handbag Factory, Los Angeles, CA 04.21.24


"Mouthtrap Revis(p)it" Oh dear god, once again. Crank gave it his second best worsening wet shirt debacle, doubling the saliva routine with the aforementioned gum and cheek widener, amplifying such through pitch bends and low brow synth hiss, AND apparently erring on the side of inadvertently copying his dear pal, Rain, whom performed a similar style mouthtrap for her appearance. More the merrier, we proclaim. The world benefits from more smiles. NorCal Noise Fest, the Internet via Waste Management, ME 10.03.23
"ode" A heartfelt gathering for the passing of our friend, Jonas. Friends, musicians, and artists all gathered to pay tribute. Apologies, as of this writing the words are still vacant; thoughts are too consumed by his absence. It was a beautiful evening, and may his presence live on and continue to inspire. Stone Church, Brattleboro, VT 08.30.23
"i can't take this laying down" The reunions continued, this time opening up for dear friends, Neptune. Donning paper cone oblong itinerary, Crank revisited his surlier Hank Jurgen persona and went for broke: accosting with catbird screeches, honking on the lobster harmonica, and sending signals thru the mire and wire of filtration, obfuscation, and all out calumny, i.e., mantras repeated rather poorly via digital playback devices and obsequious modular baloney farts - ultimately, not bad for a sitdown program performed for Gen X rock guitar fanciers. Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME 06.25.23
"Double Triple Mouth Trap" Reunited after many a year, like six or so, maybe? Id m theftable and Crank finally conjoined their twinnery agency with a full blown rib-jabbing verbal ritual featuring mutual mouth wideners, ample Mainespeak, noisy forays, and a trophy designed for capturing winning spits! Where else but in the out of doors, in the back lot behind the Apohadion Theater, by gums, Portland, ME 06.12.23
"Erp and Breech art P0ur" An inquiry passed thru the mental sieve and was notated as a travel ready suitspace conduit, which also meant crossing a timezone back for a Great Plains visitation. After a day of dancing with an Eurythmics soundtrack haunting in the looming tornado watch frequency, our bicorneous one decided to opt for indoor exhibitionism by having a wry and dry go at his ole famous-by-now amplified Sharpie reset button accompanied with the usual modulated vocoders of the lowest order, ie., always a grin widener. For whom, you might ask? Why, our pals at the NoCoast NoiseFest. Project Project, Omaha, NE 05.12.23
"Erp and Breech part Thrall" They asked and he came. Back to the original Silent Barn entry data log, our intrepid oral salutory umbrage heraldeer broke the city seal and performed once more for Episode 13 of Ende Tymes. Per usual suitcase contents included the bicorn, stiff black necktie, and implementations of the lowest form, such as the manual plucks of doingk-slather, and teeth-as-drums methods acquired from three decades of noise service. Trans Pecos, Ridgewood, NY 04.29.23
"Dry me a River" They asked and he came again. Still raining, Crank joined Al for a ride up the throughway to unravel times previously lived. This time, Sturg' took a note from his greatest hits from the beforetimes, including (but not limited to) Sharpie portraits, packing tape cellos, and other friskiness from the sought and wrought over itineraries. It's all new again, bub. Lace Gallery, Kingston, NY 04.30.23
"Erp and Breech part Doo" Making up for a snowy impasse, this spring sprang sproinging progenitors into spades, thumping Moog derby, and mouth-spit wearables. A much better sound than the prior, and that's the Woo for ya. The Firehouse, Worcester, MA 04.15.23
"Erp and Breech" An unspooling of gaff, unflappable plaap, and ornery beard guise. Our tenacious bicorneous one, despite all alds (and ensuing gallon of dunkin), persevered, jeered, and hullabaloo'd for a festive crew of giddy frendz and such, and where else, for an early spring hi? Yep. SlabFest 2, Jewel Nightclub, Manchester, NH 04.08.23
"So Much for That" A little hu and so, for our friends in the Westerlies. Donuts and coffee were served whilst our guy (thousands of miles away) breathed appropriate farty sounds and manglesome duties; featuring deluxe tonka wheel twists and frequencies delivered from buddies at the BDB. Sacramento Audio Waffle, The Internet via Waste Management, ME 03.17.23

2022 Plague Posture Protocol

"Foot and Mouth part 3" The beginning, at the ending. Crank decided to give the feet another chance, this time nearly choking on their legginess. However, a sense of unflappable perseverence took over at the helm, followed by much melodrama, lifting choice lines from favorite Frank Capra films, and employing time-tested will-he-make-it stunts, all echoing echelons of prior epic failures and fluttering in one place moments. Should he be able to do it? Could he get the spiritual loan in order to send the toes to their outer reaches? Or would he end up just being another warped, frustrated old man? Only the cast of characters knew. And they were at the Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME 12.15.22
"Foot and Mouth part 2" Taking a cue from the previous evening's affront to four-leggedness, his nibs presented a similar set of steps while also utilizing the gravitational force of the planet: podiatrists were mentioned, ample lengths of twine acted as reminders that it was okay - whatever it was, and for a brief moment the fish provided evidence that it wore airborne shoes. Roos-Rhodes House, Hampshire College, Amherst, MA 12.03.22
"Foot and Mouth part 1" Taking a cue from the past while trying to stay two steps ahead, the Crankster developed a whole new system of perambulation using extra-mammalian legs. Accompanying this mode of transit was a soundtrack of heavy mouth breathing, some wicked violin, a few commercial jingles from an earlier epoch, and a five dollar circuit bent radio. Where else could this find rendering but in basement of the belly, at the House of Goings On, Manchester, NH 12.02.22
"Sturgeon's Wholly Moment" Mister Ridiculous took a spin on the ole manually foot-cranked / possibly control-voltage device, that is, were if he clever enough. The results read like an encyclopedia of brain salad: garbles modified by rube technology, ancillary options nullified due to faulty cable-wear, accelerometers getting all weird & stuff, and lastly, hearts bursting what with all that vitamin D happening (in ready supply)... NorCal Noise Fest, The Internet via Waste Management, ME 10.02.22
"Opening the Lid on this Investigation" Slinking even further back into the memetic ticks, Crank opined about the iterations from his 2018 "Loo Wander" series. Presenting a made-for-tv-audience with a toilet seat, Crank pulled pasty verbals scrawled on Uline catalog paper from its bowl. Thereafter, chugging sounds ensued and a creaking wooden hand would spank Crank's posterior. To everyone's delight, the occasional tossed poem particle found their way back to the toilet, making for non-canned laugh tracks and applause. The decision to close the lid on the investigation is still pending. Sonorium, SATV, Salem, MA 07.30.22
"Checkin the Boxes" Sinking back into the earlier head-transcriber-scroll method manifested from Slabfest, Crankman devolved said afore into a shimmery stomach approach, employing implied thoughts similar but not related to those that might be as-rescued from the gut, aka, core, and dotting their crossed eyes and tease with an amplified sharpie, processed gooberish, a fun lil' Moog, and the trusty thrusty violin; oh, and messaging services forwarded to every cat-guy who sez stuff like K-BYE. The Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME 06.29.22
"Very Badminton" It was a nice warm Saturday afternoon in Omaha, and so, why not get semi-athletic? Crank & crew arranged for a pleasant contact-microphone workshop to happen. As contact mics simply NEED to be played with, said-transducers were then affixed to rackets and amplified, unfolding in a mighty bout of cathedral-reverby badminton. While the game didn't meet regulation standards and his nibs went hoarse (he's not the greatest referee, see?), an observer would've reveled at how the salmon-like smiles would echo for miles. Bemis Center for Contemporary Arts, Omaha, NE 05.14.22
"Travail Transcription Teleprompter Transferral" Aloft, for the first time in like, a while. Cranky-bottoms packed a suitcase full of readers, wobblers, teleprompters, and wrigglers and fluttered westward, for to which perform in front of a kindly crop of 'steaders & gigglers, revisiting a "classic" voice-to-text paper shredder anthem. The results were well worth the trek, and par for the course, something went amiss, compelling Sturg' to become one with the voiceover, so much so that the jaw hurt the next day, despite the fact that acipenser typically don't possess lower mandibles. Low End, Bemis Center for Contemporary Arts, Omaha, NE 05.12.22
"What’s on yr mind?”" With trad suitcase full of sprockets and knobpiles, his nibs made a mad morning dash across the mid-belly of Maine to do a show in the lakey reaches of New Hampst. Amongst the ballyhoo of crunch and gibberish, scrolls were implemented / tugged free from the bicorn helm, as were swear words about Jim Morrison, twin oscillator scree-dom, topped off by an unearthly undoing (mind body separation) which was retained only by the pleasurable drive back into replays and seances, the kind known only from whispers and lives lived, prior to your own. Slabfest, Ashland, NH 04.23.22
"You.Alone.In.The.Maine.Woods." The unflappably abstruse Test Dept Lad, posing as Crank, went out and got himself lost again, this time in the aforementioned eco/in situ, waving a helpful (albeit dated) blaze orange booklet about whilst trying to avoid eating plants that would give him the runs. Not. Quite. Sure. As to whether anyone bothered to send out the search party, but a fair amount of friendly Californians watched his livestream with great amusement. Sacramento Audio Waffle, The Internet via Waste Management, ME 04.17.22
"what/hu?" By miracle growths and spurts, his nibs arrived in the flesh-tone acrid, delivering woulds and cud for a privy-rated interpersonal exchange, requiring un-dusting the suitcase, bringing on the LFOs, and untying a hole in the empty lot of headspace nears-and-dreary in what had been a 17 month hiatus from such sorts of stuff and nonsensical in this era of masking posthuman posits with credo rubric decorum. Where else, but with our bestest beasts and beards to the south. The Wire Factory, Lowell, MA 03.19.22
"hi/bye" Aligning with the Cubiclism Operandi ventures (as mentioned below), Crank did a little something or other, this time from a much further locale than previously anticipated. There were hi hands, bye hands, spinning wheels, expected deals, poor transcriptions, dictated conniptions, and of course, a necktie tethered to a bicorneous outcome dance routine. XFest Online 2022, The Internet via Waste Management, ME 03.05.22

2020 Plague Posture Protocol

"plague posture protocol" The jury is still out: perform in a room for three cameras whilst triple-masked in a favorite spot in the city during purple zone status plague. Friends invited Crank to come and present a socially distanced work for online streaming and festiveness for all the noisy Twitchers to see from their safety abodes. CS complied, and after much mulch and pondering, produced a piece spurred on by all the P's. Featuring portable ventilation slinkie mouth trap, bicorn helm, a fine videotic back-sloop, and El Neut, the result was a cherry minted loud AF expulsory much-neededness. Perhaps just a blip in the conscious summary, so grateful (exclamatory punctuation implied) for the opps to grace for a second split sonic drop and have an almost tactile communal hunker. Sloosh Vampires, Axial Fest, Coaxial Arts, Los Angeles, CA 10.17.20
"Cubiclism Operandi" The plague was definitely not in a hurry to alleviate the denizens of the rubble libel ribaldry. As such, his nibs would perform a number of offerings, broadcast from his tiny sequester (much resembling a work cubicle, minus the vague-AynRandy-capitalist-motivational-posters). These one-off's undertook the following subtexts, infusing rubrics in which to abide by the mysteries of time that occasionally repeated old scores, rewired obliquely splatter-toned electronics, or merely meandered into renderings of what has become a holed-up-life, purportedly suppositionalizing manners whither itch to comb off the strangely symbolic chasms: implicit, not (s)turd...
"Put it out there but keep the tears" (the onion version). Imaginary Topographies, The Internet via Claremont, CA 10.12.20
"That's Where We Draw the Line" (the paper shredder version). NorCal NoiseFest, The Internet via Claremont, CA 10.03.20
"B0w/elB0w" (the sharpie marker ink stamp version). Tusk Festival, The Internet via Claremont, CA 09.28.20
"Heinous Quarantine". In thick and under shelter orders, the old sneezer put on a tie and did some shin scrapes & sharp elbow maneuvers for an online audience. Not the first time (there've been Skype-like performances before), but definitely a premiere in the new era of quarantine-infused performance. In addition to the bicorn helm, fishtank ethos were ascribed, some manual reverse tape technology, as well as an off-the-cough, shanty-esque verbal, much in response to the shine of virtual pint glasses clinking. Heinous Whining #3, Twitch TV, The Internet via Claremont, CA 04.12.20


"Heart On" Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, surveillance footage captured a man wearing an odd, heart-shaped splay plate atop his noggin. Seating himself behind a table of abstruse audio fracturing devices, the feller garbled a few stanzas about greeting cards, beheadings, and coronary topics pertinent to our uncaring times. After about twenty minutes, the man excused himself and wandered off to distant lands, where he would later be seen hanging outside of latenight burger joints, offering unwilling customers his latest photocopied manifesto, fresh off the printing press from a nearby Staples. Chewing Foil, Los Angeles, CA 02.14.20
"send it in a letter" His nibs made a brief roundabout to and through the PNW: armed with hole punchers, thought dispenser, some confusing DJ equipment, and a subsequent narrative which, witnesses might recall, alluded to some sort of disgust, possibly even a vendetta towards a certain bureau known as the Sturgeon General. Whitman College, Walla Walla, WA 02.06.20
"oh, ok" Atop a distant writ, Crank purveyed antennae twice before unseen. In characteristic combo, he measured the instance with double-ply triangle oration, producing a butte of cottony France atop the knob pile, attenuated in lovingly crudely crooned oscillations and beep-boop gravel. Gallery 1412, Seattle, WA 01.10.20
"ok, oh" Furthermore distanced, Crank resumed the aforementioned roll (sic) in a gentle narrative regarding his antennae, how communication with motherships fails to provide consistent results, especially when its operating thesis is subverted via games of toilet tissue-nostril-football, and subjugated to a burdensome course load of attenuated-yet-lovingly crude, croon-worthy oscillations and beep-boop gravel. Lot 8, Victoria, BC 01.11.20


"Air/Oar/Wrists" Atop a distant ridge, the whirls of new headrush plugged both ends proper, replete with mouth holes and cupola; a night floundering met with small yips and heightened rasps, ol' bicorn himself, having laid weights to coughing, led nothing denim further than a waist forebear's quaffing (times three slices or more). Club Vulgar, San Bernardino Mountains, CA 01.30.19
"Route 84" In direct response to being. On this earth. The oration strategy dug out the 1991-era/error W.E.Coyote shoe, some synth-tastics, appropriate four channel maximization, and hugging the rickety gear table like a TV dinner tray. dA, Pomona, CA 02.09.19
"Thought Dispenser" In honor of GX Jupitter-Larsen's 60th birthday, Crank performed "clici-clic" using an abbreviated TP triangle delineation headpiece process & amplified pencil sharpener; the residue of which was enclosed in self-addressed stamped envelopes with instructions for the man of the hour to put into the nearest mailbox. Coaxial Arts Foundation, Los Angeles, CA 03.02.19
"Thought Dispenser 5" Continuing on the theme of letting go thoughts, unrolling toilet paper, and attempting to recover years of lost time fudging the numbers with the nightly reports (as depicted in hieroglyphic code via cash register tape), Sturg' positioned five TP triangle delineations atop a disposable cardboard bicorn and let the industrial fan from the garage do a the talking, resulting in an upsurging cascade of paper for to which fill the desert sky. Wonder Valley Experimental 11, Palms Restaurant, Twentynine Palms, CA 03.30.19
"Fecal Thoughts (Dispensed)" Not one to let these things go, Crank wore (out) a toilet paper roll until the cows came home, hoisted his (shitty) petard atop their burly arms, and soared by the sheer power vested (and wrested) by his (crappy) proselytizing, via paper trails, neck hairs (upstanding), and unique showcase of marketable vulnerability & courage (which also came home to roost). Tulsa Noise Festival, Tulsa, OK 05.04.19
"Come Ply" Why not try and do a sit-down tutorial on work place safety? Ingredients: post-it notes, boisterous noise gates, some looping/gurgle/oscillation & transmission units, one's father's old classic polyester tie, and why yes, the venerable neck brace. Furthering the process and shoptalk would be an attempt to address this narrative arc in some manner to encourage success at said job site (quoting lines from several favorite motivational posters that one encounters in office bathrooms). (the) Handbag Factory, Los Angeles, CA 06.05.19
"Ricky, ditch the lips" a further notion from the aforementioned compliance notary went unnoticed, and as such, the succubus of routine schism fell through the cracks while jibes at (y)our cubicle neighbor saw an uptick with haywire accompaniment oscillation, per usual gloop, and a damnable necktie sky-hi with HELLO post-it crappies. The Apohadion Theatre, Portland, ME 06.17.19
"DFG the safety" following suit with the aforementioned, his nibs applied ocular shielding whilst tape measuring the slab-guitar for dander splays of bicorneous wobble & volumetric not-bad / yeah-so; accessorizing said with mutter dictum boggle-blargh, action elbow, & a slow-wig speed swoop to boot the HUGH. (the) Handbag Factory, Los Angeles, CA 07.02.19
"Syntax Error" Crank did a wee obfuscation of digital speech algorithms with a revisit of his 2017 iSpeak iNtongues. The audience furnished text which was read aloud, regurgitated via poor iPhone AI, projected until the words winced & whimpered, and then played back via gurgle-boxes, samplers, and high-jinkies. Maintaining a circuitous route for proper showcase bookends, the audience labor was tossed into a very physical algorithm consisting of paper shredding and Aaron's ominous but fraternal narration of said syntax. Avenue 50 Studio, Los Angeles, CA 07.06.19
"Bow/Elbow" A simple but serious manner of notarizing, involving Sharpie violin bows and an elbow ink stamping procedure followup. Channeling previous stamping performances, this one also resulted in a handy never-to-be-seen-again docket of smudges, strokes, and inky constellations. And noises never-heard-again. Coaxial Arts Foundation, Los Angeles, CA 08.17.19
"Meat/Jacket" Minus the prior elbow stain, Crank emoted an American Morse Code seance, exchanging dots and dashes for the words meat and jacket. Chewing Foil, Los Angeles, CA 08.21.19
"collab-o-crunch" CS sat in with pals, War Hippy, for some beastly ears, wresting gears, findings bearings, brining herring, error calls, sonic-brawls, and all in all, that is to say, what it being a Tuesday (in early fall), quite the festive walls. Coaxial Arts Foundation, Los Angeles, 09.24.19
"Spurious Hiss Blister" ol' (his) nibs (bicorneous meat jacket) did a lecture-doink, squeezing portents of magician's shudder a la ebow, ugly headless dog-spring, and delivered an out-of-zonal rubric about rubber squeeze toy failures. Cafe Colonial, NorCal Noise Fest 23, Sacramento. CA 10.05.19
"gimme back my (ziggurat)" Armed with a mere neck brace, two mics, and vocal quantizer, Crank strapped into a dad's office chair and proceeded to hurl epithets at a perfectly nice audience, accenting his umbrage with nose blows and rather ungainly air-powered headpiece. Peaked Signals Noise Fest, Paper Crane, St Petersburg, FL 10.19.19
"nuisance dribble D" An amplified drawing seance ensued 'pon a day of object showcasing and then-later workshopping; basically a temporal twister of perf/action, describing transducers, and wriggling lots of wires, springs, bits, the hits, and recovering wits with an audience of friendly fish. Perfect Circuit HQ, Burbank, CA 10.23.19
"Drinks are on the House" Team Sturgeon (Crank, Josh, and Sam) hovered around a Craig's list dentist chair and conducted a liquid transfer process featuring Alka Seltzer tablets, blood capsules, and spit cups. TP thought dispenser tactics were also included, as well as plastic gloves, Tyvec suits, and some familiar grimy neck brace / throat-gurgle amplification synthesis. 50 cups were filled and distributed amongst the audience. Recombinant Festival, Grey Area Grand Theater, San Francisco, CA 11.16.19
"collab-o-crunch part 2" The return! A positively ear-huggingly maelstrom-imbuing second edition of the War Hippy noise joint sessional. Floor core galore. La Cita Bar, Los Angeles, CA 12.03.19
"Heading Hand Swarthy" A new cardboard-sturgeon-every-day-of-my-life mask/ernst emerged: premium splay-plate styled, optimized for enclosed piezo plinky & head-hookery, allowing for a subtle dance with Hank Jurgen's ten-finger tiny bite danglers: a tease & sing directive for to-fro operatives, but for the interim, some pretty solid clunk for with which to top off the decade. Coaxial Arts Foundation, Los Angeles, CA 12.14.19


"Next Year's Invitees" Crank performed a shouting match list of likable and unlikeable invitees for the following year's noise brunch. Groans, group hugs, and high-fives ensued, with Crank's very likable 10 foot arms. A gnarly-looking transistor radio provided a soundtrack of beeps, huzz, and sports news. Noise Brunch 2018, The Firehouse, Worcester, MA 01.01.18
"Rolos Bicarbonate" Crank delivered his first ever TED Talk while hanging out in the bathroom. The discussion detailed the intersection of endoscope theater with a sort of mean-ish voiceover, utilizing 12 tape players and various teething exercises to incur a 1,2,3,4 wall-penetrative undoing of performance staging and sticky cloaca-like trans-substantialisms. The AUDIENCE COMMENT LINE responded in kind. My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, New Paltz, NY 01.22.18
"Yoke Ahoy" Hoist? Hoist: violin, a dozen eggs, chair-as-fulcrum, some Archer brand intercoms, dance moves, bladder bone, and a foam-poem. The Thursday Experiment, Gateway City Arts, Holyoke, MA 02.15.18
"Fascination" Equal parts spoken, suspended, taped, and well-hung; dictaphones, intercoms, orchestral maneuvers, and polystyrene actualized. All the way up there in the glorious lake region, with new friends. The Studio, Laconia, NH 02.16.18
"Rages in the Cages" Clog did up some wicked-looking cages for the Anti-Friend Hut, and to each their own cell: Gaylord strummed a vile axe, Seth performed AC/DC pinball, id m theft able huffed some mean dumbbells, and Crank tinkled on a piano seat� all transpiring under the time signature of Clog receiving his first tattoo. The Apohadion Theatre, Portland, ME 02.17.18
"XFEST 2018" For three solid days, Crank joined a pileup of pretty awesome pals to do some mobile elbow census-taking, 400+ text message poetics, a bit of flossing, and finally, whooping it clean with a lasting blip of brunching with super-chumlies: Steve Norton, W2, and Al Margolis, as Tough Day Tubing. XFest (10 years and running), Dorchester Art Project, Dorchester, MA 02.23/24/25.18
"Put a lid on it" Envisioning the extra-mammalian arms again, Crank used these as prosthetic methodology in order to determine altitude readings featuring guitar, violin, clothesline, and toilet seat. Lichtenstein Center for the Arts, Pittsfield, MA 03.01.18
"J.Peterman: Interpretations" Nate Brennan joined Crank for a trumpet, necktie, holler/junk reading session from one of the world's worst neo-colonial apparel company catalogs. Cold Spring Hollow, Belchertown, MA 03.14.18
"so uhh, how y' doing?" Crank did a muscle flexing via found party balloon shirt-stuffing, harebrained violinistry, and Archer-brand intercom antics... all of which refuted the above by channeling those overly buff fellows from that Ghost Hunters tv program from back along. D'Antonioz, Easthampton, MA 04.13.18
"measured breaths" A bare minimal mammal action w/ bicorn: contact clutter, tape measure fdbck, quarter inch electro-zoinks, and ceiling stares (we love those!)... par for the inaugural showcase with fellow Western Massives & Eastern Yorkers, and where else but Grosbeak! North Adams, MA 04.28.18
"reduction/redaction" Crank's send off performance: reducing his costume to nothing, Crank invited the audience to redact a book on ethics, read the poem via iPhone translation, and proceed to perform the poem in four movements. Spontaneous Combustion 9, The Brick House, Turners Falls, MA 05.20.18
"The Left Coast Roast" Crank arrived to his new home with all his unsubtle entities enhanced: amplified emojis, a bicorn full of kitchen cutlery, and that nervy mill-on-the-floss understatedness which accompanies every New England expatriate. Where y'all at? Island of Misfit Toys #41, La Cita, Los Angeles, CA 07.03.18
"Friends About The Polywave" GX rubbed a distorted toy shovel while Crank amplified footnotes with a sharpie affixed to his toes; meanwhile the city burbled a low 115 Fahrenheit, providing an eloquent backdrop for a this very first duet. Coaxial Arts Foundation, Los Angeles, CA 07.06.18
"insights into a pre-decisive derision" Crank lectured about shoes and herringbone soot for a little while until a case of convulsive hiccuping swallowed his Kelvin bicorn daily allowance. Government approved: via Sacramento Audio Waffle #45, Red Museum, Sacramento, CA 07.15.18
"dee eye balks" Big round spaces made allowances for butterfly moments with extra-mammalian hands (whispered "at night"). Phogust, Angels Gate Cultural Center, San Pedro, CA 08.18.18
"aoh gumble shli" Hiss nipst did a vibra-bough for Huso, final-mising the bicorneous vis-a-vis dis-throating penny shares, tooth sabres, and random operation probiotics. (the) Handbag Factory, Los Angeles, CA 09.28.18
"gracing an unacknowledged leg-up-and-at-'em tour" It had been a few, so Crank joined up with If, Bwana and Emerge to do a couple of weekend dating situations involving what would be considered confluences pertaining in and about the sneer of leering boyband lyricism, sprinkled with the sparring contested accoutrement mindful of late autumn, innumerably unablist Central European banking scenarios, tidied up in the viaduct transit mechanics of a bug-splattered Renault. Here's the fodder:
Villa, Augsburg, Germany 10.12.18
Club W71, Weikersheim, Germany 10.13.18
Lokomov, Chemnitz, Germany 10.14.18
Scena Nowa CK Zamek, Poznan, Poland 10.16.18
Przychodnia Sk(w)ot, Warszawa, Poland 10.18.18
Baza, Krakow, Poland 10.20.18
a strange little railroad house, Bytom, Poland 10.21.18
Antikvariat a klub Fiducia, Ostrava, CZ Republic 10.22.18
Chapeau Rouge, Praha, CZ Republic 10.22.18
"racing nor'ward for the error-bound triagrapher" Still not having enough of the been-factor, Crank ventured into the province of British Columbia to test out theories and perils in using goober-ish, god-damnables, apple speakeasies, and tiny cramped box-porous outings as template for existential brimming. Fodder portrayed at the following milieu:
Gibsons Public Library, Gibsons, BC 11.07.18
Toast Collective, Vancouver, BC 11.08.18
The White Room, Nanaimo, BC 11.09.18
Lot 8, Victoria, BC 11.10.18
"error tryst part one" On his return to the desert, Crank gave a dialect on aging; why pretending to be a bicorneous man in a ratty blue suit jacket is like a homonym for a certain so-and-so, all the while making a special point to measure the ceiling fan. The Void, San Bernardino, CA 12.01.18
"error tryst part two" And then: back to future, just like the movie, this time armed with motion sensor kitchen utensils, a tuna can, the cigarette pack amp (just in case), but all too dark to do a credible rendering of the perfect past, back when Tolkien met Reagan, et al. Coaxial Arts Foundation, Los Angeles, CA 12.03.18
"error tryst part three" Furthermore, what mere mortal coil has its rung in the high desert sneeze? Why, Crank, no less, and what better east than a launched lunching and steel scrubbiest formula, there unto an into command seating lecture; bicorn sailed a sweat's worth while buzz & crush did voices, nailed transistors, and stuffed sand betwixt the ears. Palms Restaurant, Twentynine Palms, CA 12.08.18


"Tsaey Hingyith Hearveh" On with the bicorn and over a snowy hill (or three), Crank performed some back-talking tryouts. The Brick House, Turners Falls, MA 01.07.17
"Sgourwhapb Hnyeworkh" Continuing with the aforementioned, the back-talk saga continued: a little more crunchy this time, complete with a certain type of regalia, umbrage, and with no shortage of decibel aerobics. School for the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, MA 01.20.17
"The Woo" not unlike the famous British folk septet, this bloated snort quest entitled Walter & Crank to conjoin via umbilicals & floor-mud, and whoop with it wicked with enough wrinkle-n-bloat to spurn down any woe, dropping E's like a fucking tooth year old. Who again? Hotel Vernon, Worcester, MA 02.24.17
"Mouth Trap Surveillance" Duality-faced & shirted, Crank self-projected snorts, teeth, and hairs with gusto bursts and glitch-kissed kunst cuddle, producing a regular simultarian! Deep Thoughts, Jamaica Plain, MA 03.18.17
"maybe a c90" Sans mask ernst, Crank rankled the radio vibe on a rainy pm gibbering. WCUW, 91.3, Worcester, MA 04.25.17
"Trianglehead Cedes to Rectangle Oracle" Rather n' do a deep concept, Crank packed the bag with seventeen itches and pileups with a few new boops in toe. Result? While the balloons gave out, those post-it notes went up, and all gone-gets became a sinewy milk of texture & schlorp. A fine living room too! My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, New Paltz, NY 04.27.17
"Crank Sturgeon with CRANK STURGEON" Back to the Woo, Sturg' presented a square wave video thesis, developed specifically with his Audible Disease brand of favoritest of noise-pedals. Oh yes, and featuring a supplemental three-way voiceover of laughing, as the general public cue that there may actually be a narrative arc swoon bubble at play. Hotel Vernon, Worcester, MA 05.05.17
"POst-it/Oster-i/Or/error" Sturg' arrived out of the pine shadows bedecked in old mail, boxes, paper bags, and medical boxes; a channel switch later and back he went (from whence he came). Cold Spring Hollow, Belchertown, MA 05.19.17
"Spilling the G" Acting as a stand-in marsupial, Crank tugged yarns & sharpie fonts from his pouch whilst stethoscoping his gibber glands dry. After the 11 minute mark, a 7 footer was netted and the exhaustive 3 or so remaining seconds were provided by the hot-wiring of a cheap plastic doorbell. (NOISE) Rites of Spring Festival, Bing Arts Center, Springfield, MA 05.28.17
"Original P" Crank did his standard hits. The outcome was nice. Lichtenstein Center for the Arts, Pittsfield, MA 06.17.17
"OG P2" Crank redid the aforementioned yesterbeards to a holy slow mosh that included hugs, bzzzaps, violin-chins, and a lowly exploded inflatable worm. MidWest Harshfest III, The Sanctuary, Detroit, MI 06.23.17
"Silent Partner/up & at 'em" When there were two Husos, feeding became imperative. At first it was a gentle, pocket full of objects-type-of-bloom, until the yellow tyvek burst open and the post-it notes went protrusively fisted. The Thursday Experiment #6, Gateway City Arts, Holyoke, MA 06.29.17
"Spilling the G20" Encouraged by recent fasces and fecal decals pronounced by pouncing pronouns, his nibs went belly-out and upped the ante with guts and optometry theremin violins, of a type still unlearned yet squeaky, like a cupped pair of finches at the feeder. AfterMAF, Art Rat Studios, Roanoke, VA 07.08.17
"Sermonophia (with meat thermometer)" Sunday services called for anti-sermons. Crank joined ranks with fellow ordained ministers and did his part; featuring readings from three or four fine tattered poems discovered in his ugly polyester jacket that's accompanied nearly every other show for the past 25 years. AfterMAF, Art Rat Studios, Roanoke, VA 07.09.17
"meat-jacket-desk-balls" Crank sidled down to a sit-in and delivered ohms about raspy hens, the key of C, and candle-derivred optical sounds in honor of a lovely canine's birthday. Looped of course; many times over. BUDDY FEST 2, My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, New Paltz, NY 07.22.17
"Harry Carter" Crank conjoined with id m theft able for another cv-humpty-dumping rendition of "LOL" and "YOLO". Crying ensued, atop a megaphonery throw down with marbles, squeaky chairs, and ol' raspy-under-a-Sturgeon-Moon. Performance LAB BBQ, Chailey Mansion, Newburyport, MA 08.06.17
"Hugs Miners" Unabated, his nibs appropriated meat jacketry, endless tremble, and h2o detectors, not-to-mention mouthy bits & Italian horror movie soundtrack pacing, for an evening of unleavened head & scratch, with pals! Spontaneous Combustion 4, The Brick House, Turners Falls, MA 08.25.17
"all the gangle" Following soot, Crank cantankerously re-delved into mismo poots, suitcasing, tape-stretchers, head-thwaps, and tabletop harangue for other pals on the Eastern Flank. Sonorium, Gallows Hill Theater, Salem, MA 08.26.17
"th' Adam West" Cankerst and Natty wended hair suits to a curious cacophony down to the Berzerk/shire midsection. Brass was had, violin and throat singing, and the rest wandered out to the sidewalk for duets and hunches. Lichtenstein Center for the Arts, Pittsfield, MA 09.15.17
"cholkin' on yr hoiter" Bicorneous nipst's with teeny table & stickleback? A meat jacket occurrence, featuring bloots, bloats, smirks, smocks, mockeries, clasps, hollerings, and oratory patches. Only at Hotel Vernon, Worcester, MA 09.30.17
"Lugs Encircled" Adam Bosse's improv series proved to be all-too-fun, and so, an unimaginably even-more-fun evening was had in terms of growls, jowls, frisky blats of brass, balloons, electro-sputters, lap steel tinkles, drums, guitars guitars guitars, and even some Kaoss pads & bowed entities to lob about the head handles. Spontaneous Combustion 5, The Brick House, Turners Falls, MA 10.01.17
"Hugs Pickled" Crank loaded up the hoarse-says for a beer-less peer-reviewed reckoning on or at in around about the notion re. hollowing the ween. Inflatables, swirling gibber-dom, audience portraiture, and ribaldry ensued (cue the vile lynn solo hiccup, sir). First Annual Super Dark Halloween Prom, One Caroline, Saratoga Springs, NY 10.30.17
"Onesome, Twosome, Four" Ventures down the Hudson continued with a lovely night of collaborations: featuring loops & boom box sloops by Matt Luczak, Max Hamel's smooth synth knobbery, violin drops n' bass clarinet tribbles by Al Margolis, and Crank's many-straws-grasped/gasping yodels. HiLo, Catskill, NY 11.03.17
"past everyone's bedtime" Another visitation with Adam Bosse's gathering of the minds. This time the improv was directed by Jen Gelineau, Arkm Foam, and Andy Allen; a much quieter night of soothing drools, bowing clickers, ticker napes, and ululating guitrrrrs. Spontaneous Combustion 6, The Brick House, Turners Falls, MA 11.05.17
"MAJOR squawk" Crank packed ol' raspy for a 1, 2 doot times 7; plus ear, stickle, topstick, and other heck-and-neck portables. Survey said: it was a wet one. The Glove, Brooklyn, NY 11.18.17
"iSpeak iNtongues" On his return to the Maine, Crank showcased results of his long absence in a group-hug involving syntax errors-via-recitations of audience words, reinterpreted in a most wrongsome lingo-via-pocket apple product, and revealed-via-projection lecture. (via) The Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME 11.22.17
"fishing �heston" No lecture this time, just a straight-up 15 minute account requiring fishing vest, bicep-building device, ample squealie-dealies, and the bicorn huzz para-diggum. Miracle Meat, Deep Thoughts, Jamaica Plain, MA 12.02.17
"124 messages" What happens when Crank asks an audience to text him words for a poem? On the longest night of the year? With the threat of snow? Distant Castle, Worcester, MA 12.21.17


"TDT" A bumpy start when the bar-chatter is louder than your quartet. The point? Pizza and hey. Lots of H & haze, but nary a reparation. Featuring the law team of Margolis, Norton, Wright, and Sturgeon. UnchARTed Gallery, Lowell, MA 01.08.16
"12 Stitch Program" A truly bumpy start sent Crank into orbit resulting in a smack to the head! Following a Manhattan ambulance tour, rapid sewing session, and the all-clear, destinations were reached without further mishap, whereupon noises & talks ensued. Next time? Less backpack, please. NYU, New York, NY 01.22.16
"Abet and Stretch" Crank gave his earliest morning yet! Caffeine at 5, drive till 9, show up, deliver orations for class, do the usual gooble/gawble, a little workshop, a little talk, a lot of smiles, and no stitches. Emerson College, Boston, MA 02.25.15
"Vers, various, adverse, adverbs" Worms, huffs & puffs, bubbles, yoga balls, dirigibles; these festivals can be ever so huso. XFest 2016. City Hall Ballroom, Holyoke, MA 02.26.16
"(see above)" XFest 2016. City Hall Ballroom, Holyoke, MA 02.27.16
"Conjoined Twins" All sighs mated their baster with a finale and duel w/ nibby, Id m theft able. Procedures offered up a thumb war, violin (still can't), to/fro vocals, and some accidental bad radio (which is good). What better, the weather was splendid for that giggling ride home. XFest 2016, Arts Block, Greenfield, MA 02.28.16
And then, there was the first foray under the equator! Sturgeon flapped his gills onward to the Ecuadoran XII Festival of Contemporary Music, in Quito. Thereupon, in busted tongues, Crank taught more huff n' puff workshops, made fantastic new friends, wandered aimlessly and with aims, recorded snippets, filmed a small funnel cloud, had many-a-late-night-in Gaupulo, and rounded out the journey with some shows. Here's where they happened.
Humbolt As�ciation, Quito, EC 03.10.16
Teatro M�xico, Quito, EC, 03.11.16
Casa Moujou, Quito, EC 03.12.16
Casa Mit�mana, Quito, EC 03.13.16
A minitour mindsore. Crank loaded up the Huso-mobile and made for a duck-and-cover to the midAtlantic states. Yep, cherry blossoms were sighted, victorious synths chirped, low-loop wubbles did their bidding, and intercom outreaches consisting of poetics/mirth/and inflatables made landfall, and all a bit guapo, too. Well, maybe.
Good Weekend, Allentown, PA 03.24.16
Rhizome DC, Silver Spring, MD 03.25.16
Vox Populi, Aux Space, Philadelphia, PA 03.26.16
"Matinew Tweeter" Sometimes nobody wondered. Bennington College, Bennington, VT 04.08.16
"Building a Better Twice Ego, No" Were if one orange-headed fish enough, then certainly two would most surely shave the day? Recipe: Sunday edition NY Times, a wooden frame, some ping pong balls, a little Danielle Steele, lots of busy hands, Bob Seger on mobile cassette spool, and a best friend song about your doppelg�nger. More Art Space, Oneonta, NY 04.15.16
"Sturgeon University" Orchestrations into the night! A student pile-up featuring Brian, Patrick, Andrew, Alex, Crank, and Instructor-Brett; working the hell out of each & everyone's handmade contact microphones, attacking amplified chairs, various vibrating doinging stringy-like wobbling devices, gurgle-bottles, and the ever-popular shrieking packing tape, with a musical score played out via chance operation cue cards. SUNY Oneonta, Oneonta, NY 04.20.16
"Altitude Plus or Minus L or T" Using the "Systematic Scoring Method", a performance app devised by Peter J. Woods, Crank attributed memes, dollar signs, and friendship motifs to the causality that, as one knows well by this point, perpetuates further conundrums, proprietary divisiveness, and hardware issues concerning the Husopathic mythos. In other words, slogans were used as receptive arcs, and folks yelled a lotta shit in return, which left Crank to invent strategies for violin, sharpie marker, duct tape neckties, bad marketing techniques, and revising his original plan about being a plain old blithering doofus, but in a good way. Deep Thoughts, Jamaica Plain, MA 05.13.16
"Twins, Findings, and Crepes" Inside out and out's ide sin, violins were hoisted and videos became double-mouths, braying and praying and craving and such. Yep, another Crank Sturgeon tour! This time around, Crank made for some of the old with a pinch of the new, and so, as luck would have it, and in an abra-ca-dabra kind of way, it was a renewal of sorts; all the bag heads, their goiters, lush interiors, too, made templates of pants and cowboys motifs, dumped rosin-covered rocks on frail pieces of cud, maybe even issued a seance or three, as each and all, Crank included, emptied their upholsteries and laid 'em flat, like a sly, wicked wry, layer of gouda on bread.
UP lnde, Koper, Slovenia 06.01.16
MMC MinK, Tolmin, Slovenia 06.02.16
ZNFI / Vashava RTH, Trbovlje, Slovenia 06.04.16
Klub Metulj, Bistrica ob Sotli, Slovenia 06.05.16
Cirkulacija 2, Ljubljana, Slovenia 06.06.16
Mladinski Center Hrastnik, Hrastnik, Slovenia 06.06.16
Ourcq Blanc, Paris, France 06.09.16
Piednu, Le Havre, France 06.11.16
CCL, Lille, France 06.12.16
Cabaret Walpodada, Mainz, Germany 06.13.16
Weltecho, Chemnitz, Germany, 06.15.16
KMB II, Leipzig, Germany 06.19.16
Baumstrasse, Athens, Greece 06.21.16
The Loch, Enschede, Netherlands 06.23.16
Kitchen Concert, Duisberg, Germany 06.24.16
bei Koc, Hannover, Germany 06.25.16
Noisexistance, Bremen, Germany 06.26.16
"Fruit of One's Labor" Gently reassuring himself that it was now "the time" (to get off his butt and start performing again), Crank attempted a slicing-onion-and-stuffing-it-into-envelopes-for-the-audience-to-send-to-their-favorite-political-figures-set, featuring a seven-input, red delicious apple-cum-mixer. Jaume 1, Greenfield, MA 07.15.16
"Future Fruits" Sutures and poems made the apple stab a fine-fine, with some testimony in tens or eights about what was to be brought into a next day corroboration (confessionals, rhyme game/phasers, and Led Zeppelin cassettes). The Future Collective @ 118 Elliot Street, Brattleboro, VT 07.23.16
"Athletics & Aesthetics" Full swing? Making a racket? Very badminton, all of you. Very bad puns, too! And we thank ye clouds for not drenching. Williams College Museum of Art, Williamstown, MA 08.25.16
"Seasons of the Abyss by Slayer by Crank Sturgeon" Whoring the old ghillie suit again, Crank enabled ghosts of martyred right wingers by doing his worst pinch of Garrison Keillor impersonation: leaves were swallowed, discussions about the etymology of the word "autumn" ensued, and possible renditions of Kraftwerk were channeled. An all-out soup! UAG, Albany, NY 10.28.16
"Balls to the Wall" Crank predicted the outcome of the U.S. presidential election. St Pete Noise Fest, The Venture Compound, St Petersburg, FL 11.05.16


"Your Triple (A) Holiday Express (Shun)" Joining up with Evan Lipson, Bonnie Jones, and David Contack, Crank gave a ventilational (tubing) about being triangle-headed under the auspices of a nationally recognized auto club. XFest, Gateway City Arts, Holyoke, MA 02.28.15
"Cleaver/Itch" Notes undone from prior outings, Crank packed an axe from 2004 ad agency and schluffed the pointed head left. Umbrage? Hardly. Cabbage-clawed and with butter knives, the following sets saw sects and heck. And boy was it ever portable!
(the) Handbag Factory, Los Angeles, CA 03.20.15
The Boreal, Eugene, OR 03.24.15
Deadbeat Records, Olympia, WA 03.26.15
Plew's Brews, Portland, OR 03.27.15
What's This Called w/ Ricardo Wang/KPSU, Portland, OR 03.28.15
Gallery 1412, Seattle, WA 03.28.15
"Net Worths" This time around, Crank teamed up with Jen Gelineau for a tripel-F fishing foray/violin clamber & dubbel-hammock-costume/shimmer. Fortified. Filet. Fie! Brick House, Turner's Falls, MA 04.02.15
"I's on the HI's" Stripping down while adding a tub full of crinkle, Crank added his feature list of sexy-HI's to the shredder while dancing in place to the accompaniment of double-fisted contact microphones. More Art Space, Oneonta, NY 05.01.15
"Some Bad Ideas Gone Astray" Unable to continue with hellos, Crank shredded the very notion of having an idea. These concepts included (but were not limited to) authoritarianism, social media, male pregnancy, and poor nutrition habits as rendered via Alka Seltzer. Upstate Artists Guild, Albany, NY 05.02.15
"Some Better Ideas Gone Away" Finding time with rhymes and his stink-sombrero ensconced, Crank huddled with yelps and appeals for a radio gone awry. WNYU, New York, NY 05.16.15
"Leader Hosed & Mouth Poff" On a tall stage, Crak lost his N, gave away the Zamphir secret, and shoved the rest in his mouth. His stink-sombrero fell off, too. Ende Tymes Festival, Silent Barn, Brooklyn, NY 05.16.15
"Squeaky" Next o' next: the smelly-hat-wackety went for a cashless aspiration at twice the volume. Crank did it, though he almost forget to tell you about it. Flywheel Arts Collective, Easthampton, MA 05.18.15
"Last up: Like, Dislike" Stench-cap in tow, up the tall stairs to Nate's attic. Good stamps, many mixed signals, and down to a Facebook assessment inked on paper. Cruud House, North Adams, MA 05.23.15
"Tough Day Tubing" The lot, the fearsome foursome (Walter Wright, Al Margolis, Steve Norton, and Crank) placed their posteriors into an eight-wheeled bucket seat perambulator and took to the sheets! Here's where they garnered the sounds of falling-down-barns:
Upstate Artists Guild, Albany, NY 05.28.15
Washington Street Arts, Somerville, MA 05.29.15
UnchARTed, Lowell, MA 05.30.15
John Doe JR, Greenfield, MA 05.31.15
"Inbox, Outbox: Shredded & Yeah'ed" Making his way back to you (babe), Crank upped a solo snuggle with a bit about farcebook affirmations & negations, a little bit of paper shredding, a whole lotta danzig & droning, and then a return to double-visage via video selfie-dom dental depositories. Deep Thoughts, Jamaica Plain, MA 06.03.15
"Family, Family, Family" Crank re-reunited with Jen Gelineau for the FFF, presenting an evening of quiet rush, dental pinch, and curtain collision. In that order. Cement Hole, East Boston, MA 06.13.15
"Ghillie Hejh" Taking a retrograde step, Crank went back to instructionals: donning the camo, creaking an office chair, serenading, transferring water, and feeding an animated tree while wearing candles, bare-armed. Okay then. JDJR, Greenfield, MA 07.02.15
"Greeting/Grating" Hi's and hey's exchanged the rounds after a messy audience moan-whine-snort-along. Crank did his beast to entice an encouraging world, but only with his double-face did the luminary ensue. Cruud House, North Adams, MA 07.04.15
"EyeBurnArmInfiltrate" Huffing, puffing, teary-eyed, inflating; groaning, candled, sampled, dirigibled. It hurt like a summavabitch, but Crank did it, natural-amphitheatre-bowl-style/noise-camping-methodologue-ist/ism/geist/geyser-swoosh. Blistered and sunburned, at the VOICE of the VALLEY, Millstone, WV 07.24.15
"Battleships" Duet, first ever, and not likely the last, with Angela Sawyer (th' Destroyer). Crank and Ms. Destroyer ogled, verbalized, articulated, and added semi colons to a wave of zip drive unloading & chest stretching. Good long drives will muster good mustards! First Banana, Philadelphia, PA 07.25.15
"Don't Drop the Ball" Balls out, Crank amplified a sermon about multiple genital infractions while utilizing the sonic qualities of yoga equipment, 400 ping-pongs, and a selfie video. Future Fest Four, Brattleboro, VT 09.04.15
"(fill in the blank) are people, too" Old chumly, PCRV coalesced arms with mutual *like* Crank, and set out to shit the byways of 'Murka with a missionary glower contingent on aqueous deluge and auditory subterfuge. Many states were crawled 'cross with many a stare and purpling. Here's their itinerant farming schedule:
CasaBlanca, Boston, MA 09.22.15
Flywheel, Easthampton, MA 09.23.15
MAS, Oneonta, NY 09.24.15
Night Gallery, Pittsburgh, PA 09.25.15
Elijah's, Detroit, MI 09.26.15
TriTriangle, Chicago, IL 09.27.15
Wiley's Comedy Joint, Dayton, OH 09.28.15
Art Rat Studios, Roanoake, VA 09.29.15
Reanimator Records, Winston Salem, NC 09.30.15
The Auxiliary, Richmond, VA 10.01.15
Union Arts, Washington DC, 10.02.15
Torus Porta, Brooklyn, NY 10.03.15
Trans Pecos, Brooklyn, NY 10.04.15
"Whoso T'graph, part 1" A solo CS visitation with our smoky friends, doing it deep with the photo eye wubble and beep. Smoky Bear Cave, Allston, MA 10.16.15
"Whoso T'graph, part 2" A lasting impression with all our 119 family, for the final show at the gallery which had over-the-years condoned he/his nibs/Huso/second person/Sturgeon citizen Crank to pretty much do anything. And so, what better ending than a nice poem about yachts and middle fingers? That's telegraphy por vous (and the audience shared their birds, too)! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 10.17.15
"Scotch and Stress", Dueling banjos of a sort, Crank and Olivier DiPlacido dug into their mutual parallels and pickup solutions, and made for a trek up the boots, across one-wheeled suitcases, and through many a sock and sandwich. On the rare occasion, Crank had to go solo and expose his vulnerabilities!
Here's the route:
Cellar Theory, Naples, IT 10.28.15
PerdiTempo, Naples, IT 10.30.15
Fanfulla, Rome, IT 10.31.15
Euphorbia, Bologna, IT 11.01.15
Circolo Arci Machito, Turin, IT 11.02.15
Le 102, Grenoble, FR 11.03.15
Cave 12, Geneva, CH 11.04.15
L'Oblo, Lausanne, CH 11.05.15
Platfon Records, Basel, CH 11.06.15
Les Instants Chavires, Paris, FR 11.07.15
f-o-r-m-e-s, Angers, FR 11.08.15
PiedNu, Le Havre, FR 11.09.15
Le Malterie, Lille, FR 11.10.15
Chateau Kinny, Brussels, BE 11.11.15
Radio Cantraal, Antwerp, BE 11.12.15
Literair-Artistiek Cafe, Den Hopsack, Antwerp, BE 11.12.15
OCCII, Amsterdam, NL 11.13.15
Makroscope, M�lheim, DE 11.14.15
Black Box, M�nster, DE 11.15.15
Rote Flora, Hamburg, DE 11.17.15
West Germany, Berlin, DE 11.18.15
FischBar, Leipzig, DE 11.19.15
KK---19, Berlin, DE 11.20.15
Deichmanske Bibliotek, Gr�nerl�kka, Oslo, NO 11.21.15
PIZDETS, Oslo, NO 11.23.15
Cementen, Stavanger, NO 11.25.15
Geiger Fest, Element Studio, Gothenburg, SE 11.27.15
R�kridan, Stockholm, SE 11.29.15


"TDT, featuring Stevie Norton" Tough Day Tubing ventured out from all their points on the proverbial compass, but the original Steve couldn't make it. So, Jen sat in, and double-punched the chops up seven notches into a land of huskier sheet scritter and medallion-like urban decorum. Where else? Pop Corn Noir, Easthampton, MA 01.15.14
"Human Synthesizer" Armed with a handy roll of accidental dot matrix stickers, Crank assigned these to the audience as badges and conducted them all-proper-like in order to perform a big, human, bleepy-bloopy. On ice! 4th Annual Peskeomskut Noisecapades, Connecticut River, Turner's Falls, MA 02.02.14
"XFest part 1" Crank had to suddenly hustle down to Holyoke in time to get the good crinkle going with Diagram A. A fine balancing act of shimmer and creak ensued! Gateway City Arts, Holyoke, MA 02.22.14
"XFest part 2" Joining up with Jeff Carey, Patrick Cain, and Arkm Foam, a rock quartet birthed forth, with testosterone squalls of noise, sax, drums, amplified tape, Lionel Richie, and an audience chorus, all brought to you by the letter U. Gateway City Arts, Holyoke, MA 02.22.14
"XFest part 3" Tough Day Tubing wrinkled itself into a finely starched gauze with guest minister, Stephanie Lak. Bumps, bromps, double horn tribbles, scrapey sheep, and mewling jowl grabs = a good peace ouch. Gateway City Arts, Holyoke, MA 02.23.14
"a night of speeding ticketed peepers" Tough Day Tubing took a trip downriver again to let some subtle creations take over. Minus our W2, Nate Brennan filled in on horns & tapes. Spotty Dog, Hudson, NY 04.11.14
"Wings of Changed" Rudimentarily resistant, our never-to-be-rebuffed-Crank packed an intercom and went to visit some friends for a two month exercise in trills and spiels:
Struma + Iodine, Vienna, Austria 06.06.14
Zasavje Noisefest International, Rudarski Vashau, Trbovlje, Slovenia 06.07.14
Gustaf Pekarna, Maribor, Slovenia 06.09.14
qujOchO, Linz, Austria 06.10.14
Fuga, Bratislava, Slovakia 06.11.14
Klub Re, Krakow, Poland 06.13.14
Chee Chaak Fest, Provoz Hlubina, Ostrava, Czech Republic 06.14.14
U Maleho Rohozce, Prague, Czech Republic 06.15.14
garden concert, Dresden, Germany 06.16.14
Galeria Lunar, Hannover, Germany 06.20.14
FSK, Radioshow, Hamburg, Germany 06.22.14
Spanien 19c, Aarhus, Denmark 06.23.14
garden concert, Aarhus, Denmark 06.24.14
Artbreak Hotel, Aalborg, Denmark 06.25.14
Mayhem, Copenhagen, Denmark 06.27.14
La Cena Ultima, Berlin, Germany 06.28.14
NK, Berlin, Germany 06.30.14
Universitatsklinikum & Gap Gap, Leipzig, Germany 07.01.14
Verhulstplein 14, den Haag, Netherlands 07.03.14
JH Paenhuys, Hoegaarden, Belgium 07.04.14
Gr Ambacht, Mechelen, Belgium 07.05.14
Le Sud, Rotterdam, Netherlands 07.06.14
Nest, Brussels, Belgium 07.07.14
Stadslimiet, Antwerp, Belgium 07.08.14
Palazzo, Antwerp, Belgium 07.09.14
La Rumeur, Lille, France 07.10.14
NO Jazz Series, Vanilla Cafe, Paris, France 07.25.14
Bruitisme 2 Festival, Nancy, France 07.26.14
"TinCanMan" Crank dug out the spinny-head-twirler for a bout of suit-teasing and sensuous man renderings. Flywheel Arts Collective, Easthampton, MA 08.28.14
"Misreadings, part 1" Unable to contain his breaches, the legumes and shout-pouts were orated (via Crank) in a billowing pile of up/down Daddy shoes, random chance operation card-bedeckery, and a dopey baseball session via acoustic guitar hatch-battery. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 08.29.14
"Misreadings, parts 2 through 87" Further verbal incontinence fused with late baseball seasons, and that gal in the back tossed the winning pitch with Crank shouting: I'm Jimi Hendrix! Future Fest 3, Brattleboro, VT 08.30.14
"ichthyoblongdentatorifice" Occasionally petulant, and with off-hand peduncles, Crank juggled the mouth-glibber micro-schlunk for another two months of triangle-care, gorilla pH levels, and infallible cluff. This time around, Crank often joined arms. Said arms belonged to Fritz Welch, Vialka, and a posse of Israeli improvisational artists.
Incubate Festival (featuring six daily guerrilla performances), Tilburg, NL 09.15 - 21.14
The Old Hairdresser's, Glasgow, UK 09.24.14
Safari Lounge, Edinburgh, UK 09.26.14
Mining Institute, Newcastle, UK 09.27.14
Hotspur House, Manchester, UK 09.28.14
JT Soar, Nottingham, UK 09.29.14
The Fox & Newt, Leeds, UK 09.30.14
The Rutland Arms, Sheffield, UK 10.01.14
Crate, Margate, UK 10.02.14
Ryan's Bar, Stoke Newington, London, UK 10.03.14
Cowley Club, Brighton, UK 10.04.14
The Chapel in the Garden, Bridport, UK 10.05.14
Sonic Bothy Workshop, Recital Room/City Hall, Glasgow, UK 10.07.14
Le Garage, Namur, Belgium 10.09 - 10.14
Makroscope, Mulheim, Germany 10.11.14
Le Cabinet, Mulhouse, France 10.16.14
Theater Am Ring, Villingen/Black Forest, Germany 10.17.14
Pakkahuone, Joensuu, Finland 10.21.14
Kulttuuribingo, Oulu, Finland 10.22.14
Koloni, Gothenburg, Sweden 10.24.14
Borgen, Malmo, Sweden 10.25.14
Fylkingen, Stockholm, Sweden 10.26.14
Uganda, Jerusalem, Israel 10.29.14
Levontin 7 (11 person ensemble), Tel Aviv, Israel 10.30.14
Tectonic Festival, Tmuna Theatre, Tel Aviv, Israel 10.31.14
Syrup, Haifa, Israel 11.02.14
Neon Kunst, Berlin, Germany 11.03.14
Wakushoppu, Prague, CZ Republic 11.04.14
Festival of Endless Gratitude, Copenhagen, Denmark 11.08.14
Tochnit Aleph 20th Anniversary, Rumpsti Pumsti, Berlin, Germany 11.09.14
"Welcome Back Hands" Packing every noise globule known to bland, Crank forded, excoriated, and shunted whilst flapping, thwapping, & doing some things old. Resulting bins? a scrapple of grins, grinds, and table pandas (pariahs, Mariahs, & hams, as well). Anthill, Amherst, MA 12.06.14


"Footnotes Make the Man" Foot-stamping, Morse Code winks & ooh's, and a stream of dismissive proverbs (involving envelopes & spray foam insulation) fused abstruse with Mother Goose in this first-of-the-year solo Crank foray. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 01.04.13
"Tough Day Tubing" A thirsty first of thirds! W2, If Bwana, and Crank got together and belted out magic improvisations as determined by audience cut-up poems that were plucked from a hat. Pops, grins, and jesuit nachos were had (by all). OAC, North Adams, MA 01.19.13
"Throat" Crank soloed ad hoc vis-a-vis poetry grab-bag, with titles created by the audience. This coin-flip tactic revealed all sorts of improvisations: spoken word pieces about devious shoulders, hand pump noises that considered turkey basting, and feedback wriggles on the trusty tupperware guitar. Crystal Shelf #2, King Street Manor, Northampton, MA 01.23.13
"You are the one who drinks like a fish" Another effort with International Morse Code. Replacing the dashes and dots with "stir" & "gin", the audience transmitted a very important public service message. 3rd Annual Peskeomskut Noisecapades, Connecticut River, Turner's Falls, MA 02.02.13
"in FLUX" Three scores, two fellers. Crank & Id performed various instructions: an audience shout-along featuring the words "filet" & "geode"; tying audience shoelaces together and describing this as nation building; and lastly, paying homage to Reed Altemus by spitball "scoring" an electric guitar. unchARTed, XFest, Lowell, MA 02.23.13
"AAAAA" Five aaaa's. Later that night, Valerie, Die X, Stephanie, Heather, & Crank lay down the sonic. Things became airborne, the audience was draped, and banshees were channeled. 119 Gallery, XFest, Lowell, MA 02.23.13
"The Steve Norton Hour" In front of a live studio audience, Crank & Id interviewed multi-instrumentalist and possible author, Steve Norton. Baby chicks were amplified, comfy chairs hummed, and portraits were drawn to the din of saxophones, sheds, and wee sturgeon guitars. Little info was provided about Steve's imminent book, however. LTC, Lowell, MA 02.24.13
"Unset Set" A toasty duet with Al Margolis! This time, the audience delivered their versions of titles for the duo to duel. And did they deliver! Daddies, inflatable chests, arcane wobbles, and snow fragments... Spotty Dog, Hudson, NY 03.08.13
"Your Nuts" Crank inexcusably bumped into Spring, pinned it all on genitalia, apologized and asked the audience for insults, married Williams Burroughs with Ayn Rand, and then, with the audience, had everyone introduce themselves to one another in song. OAC, North Adams, MA 03.28.13
"Huffy INC.," at his first ever international noise conference, Crank & his smiley face bowed, puffed out their chests, and played belt games in an undisclosed location. Boston, MA 04.06.13
"Uncle Lore, FL" Punning gametes, easter huns, supple drones, and jaundiced peeps, Crank played floor-core and D/improvised via tiny electronic speakers; and it was a warm, lovely night. Weirdo Records, Cambridge, MA 04.08.13
"YOUGOTTA" Crank narrated himself in a three-part trilogy, discussing altruism, narcissism, and chauvinism. Tools, you ask? Guitar, bike pump, and the usual six-foot inflatable head, of course. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 04.13.13
"YOUGOTTA2" Freeform this time, Crank sweated out his own self-narration, spawning audience sing-alongs and moshing gals. Noises aplenty, version two played in four parts with eighty heartbeats per second. Deep Thoughts, Jamaica Plain, MA 04.20.13
"YOUGOTTA3" Multiple karaoke, with double inflatables, audience participatory S-words, and the saucy smell of burning tweeters! Dance, fool, dance!!! United Artists' Guild, Albany, NY 04.27.13
"Tour Wife and Daddy Shoes" Taking a break from art, Crank and his perennial tour buddy, PCRV, loaded up the Chevy for a three week jaunt 'cross this grand old lovely country of ours (and here's where noises found hearth and moan)
Denver Noise Festival, Rhinoceropolis, Denver, CO 05.11.13
Kirby's Beer Store, Wichita, KS 05.12.13
Revisionist Inn, St. Louis, MO 05.13.13
Groucho's, Louisville, KY 05.14.13
Betty's Bar, Nashville, TN 05.15.13
Barking Legs Theatre, Chattanooga, TN 05.16.13
Apothecary, Asheville, NC 05.17.13
Savage Weekend, Nightlight, Chapel Hill, NC 05.18.131
Conundrum, Columbia, SC 05.19.13
TYP Haus, Greensboro, NC 05.20.13
(secret anti-plan), Roanoke, VA 05.21.13
Cat Mansion, Richmond, VA 05.22.13
Philadelphia Art Alliance, Philadelphia, PA 05.23.13
Ende Tymes Festival, Silent Barn, Brooklyn, NY 05.24.13
OAC/Hall Street, North Adams, MA 05.25.13
Big Blue Hell, Allentown, PA 05.26.13
Pats in the Flats, Cleveland, OH 05.27.13
Goat Club, Dayton, OH 05.28.13
TriTriangle, Chicago, IL 05.29.13
Borg Ward, Milwaukee, WI 05.30.13
"KG" Cagey, the inflatable derision factory misfired, leading to the silent treatment and, for once, a lovely exploration into the hun's known. Washington Street Art Center, Somerville, MA 06.22.13
"Double Flute" Cycling back 27 years to a primordial theatrical state and under bulbous moon, Crank duplicated his role as Thisbe to a shouting & seated dummy-twin Pyramus. Midsummer Night's Dream, The Mansion, Newburyport, MA 06.23.13
"noisecation's end" A month off from shows, Crank was coaxed back to an outdoor acoustimatic show with the lure of hotdogs. Affixing Queen Anne's red spot to a freshly minted 2D/3XONE and stomping on latex bubbles, the audience was overcome with Sobs, Screams, Shouts, Snorts, Sighs, and Singing. Nick's Nest, Holyoke, MA 08.13.13
"notes to self & a little hand" 'Pon offering the audience a "little hand" (which was readily accepted), Crank orated a bare chested sermon with amplified packing tape and post-it notes. Many hands enabled Huso to reemerge; all danced and handled his glorious eyeball & ten foot span! Future Fest 2, Stone Church, Brattleboro, VT 08.31.13
"poems to shelf" lost in the basement, Crank unswallowed self from a bulbous Huso-head and delivered poems-to-the-chest via packing tape, intercom, and hovering-disembodied freshly-plucked Western-Massachusetts-apple. Later, things were readjusted to melt paces with Shayna Dulberger & Chris Welcome's duo, Hot Date. Smokey Bear Cave, Allston, MA 09.14.13
"Shogun Horny" Debut trio w/ ARKM Foam & Walter Wright. Wriggly! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 10.17.13
"Bird for a Bird" Back to the bunker, Crank & Clog caged a bird, asked folks for the bird, and then finger printed 600 (birds, i.e., middle fingers). Festival of the Sacred & Profane, Battery Steele, Peaks Island, ME 10.19.13
"Words Worn Worse" Crank hassled a crowd into giving him words in which to narrate & perform his show. Dust Bowl, Hadley, MA 10.23.13
"Words Worn Worse (revisit)" Again, Crank hassled a crowd into giving him words in which to narrate & perform his show. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 10.26.13
"Gerhard Richter" Touch Day Tubing reunion, featuring Al Margolis, Walter Wright, and Steve Norton. Good purrs, loads of chill; easy turns, infusions of warm wire. Spotty Dog, Hudson, NY 11.15.13
"Ride the Lightning, the Sequel" Id and Crank returned to projection poetry and reflective, nay, introspective, ballet, akin to their debut with this series during the summer of 2012. The difference? Not an ounce of naval gazing from the audience, by order of city council. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 11.16.13
"Karaoke Footnotes" Top 40 verbatim coupled with foot actions, ink stamped & stomped; Crank delivered the hits (and feet). Pop Corn Noir, Easthampton, MA 11.20.13
"Errors & Snow Globes, pt. 1" Asking the audience for prose, Crank narrated these into poop-sized Everest-chains of inflatable dander. Upstate Artists Guild, Albany, NY 11.22.13
"Errors & Snow Globes, pt. 2" Continuing with the previous evening thread, audience words were delivered into missives on father/son relationships, quantum singularities, & Argentinian pampas. THEN inflatables were launched. New City Galerie, Burlington, VT 11.23.13


"One Hand Up"... starting off the new year, Crank once again delved into his annual portrayal of cabin fever; this time accompanied by an overriding voice control, the magical number 1, possessing very large hands, and an attempt at skiing with violins. Frontier, Brunswick, ME 01.26.12
"Xiest Festiest" Free improv? Impromptu gurglestocks with Morgan Evans-Weiler, Emilie Mouchous, and id m theft able; fiddler doubles, runaways, mommy issues, cushion pushin' and recycling bin music! Xfest (all the way!). 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 02.24 & 25.12
"fission dessert" a threefold undertaking. Parting ways and parts with nips of corn beverage and well-stuffed pantaloons, Crank went to Texas. Why? Where? Stretch? Yeewwwww betcha!
Sound Exchange, Houston, TX 03.15.12
Wreck Center, San Marcos, TX 03.16.12
Sux by Suxwest, Bernadette's Bar, Austin, TX 03.18.12
"baby bird/keanu home improv/meant" id & Crank duel again! This time it was all for Stephanie's birthday, featuring fuzzy costumes, glorious hats, ululating 80's sitcoms, headless creatures, and Tim Allen (nude), descending a staircase (board game). Bombshelter, Brunswick, ME 03.24.12
"Grapes of Rasp" Crank charged head-on for a bit of wrath w/ a 12 minute voiceover. Making alligators with a pair of $3.99, size 50 chinos, there was ample room for discussions on the UN, imported fruits (hoarded into cheeks), and some slick singing, double-style. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 04.20.12
"Lapse of Chaste" More stretchy stretch, Christ/Beuys arms, hand-delivered portraiture, and them's massive pants (see previous show mantra), this time under a mountain sun, therefore closer to dodge. Where's zat? Denver Noise Festival, Old Curtis Street Bar, Denver, CO 04.27.12
"Stretch & Tug" With even more stretchy stretch, Crank candidly made new faces & told scolding tales of your old yore. Ropes were tugged and heart strings broke. But we all got maid. In the spayed. Ende Tymes Festival, Secret Project Robot, Brooklyn, NY 05.17.12
"Eyes Used for Tooth Support, Act 1" Starring id m theft able, Greg Kowalski, & Crank! Three hours of sound, three armed vocal riffing, video wrenching, violin doilies, stretchy stretchiness, VHS jams, and infinite bwown, this little trio went to market, strayed far from home, broke the camel's straw, and took several hostages out for late night grins & shimmer. Art Walk Fortified. SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 06.01.12
"Eyes Used for Tooth Support, Act 2" A solo set with Crank, his clapper, an inflatable wide-eyed-leering (read: fish), and the members of the board, strung high with suspense, awaiting their ties. SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 06.08.12
"Eyes Used for Tooth Support, Act 3" A duet with longtime collaborator, Pat Corrigan, aka Clog Wornago, taking the form of a film, spoken & performed with, in an attempt to sell some really nice office cubicles. SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 06.15.12
"Eyes Used for Tooth Support Act, 4" A duel video collab/performed live with id m theft able; all the fixin's of blushing, belly hair, optical acrobatics, and but/dammits went into this, shouting out to one of the best records of all time, Ride the Lightning. SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 06.22.12
"Tenant of the Loo" Crank's first-ever bathtub performance, presented via Skype @ 2 am for some lovely onlookers many miles away. Featuring many eyeballs, ol' alka, violining along to busted tape recorders, and yes, ending with a Marquis de Sade-like bubble bath. Olympia Experimental Music Festival, Olympia, WA 06.23.12
"Sweat's End Repent" Guilty as charged, but dammit it wasn't right, Crank joined with id m theftable and two thirds of Mystic Out-Bop Review for some judgement, sweatsuits, and ample taxation. Additionally, wigs were donned, New Hampshire was used as a threat, and lo, even some wicked good exercise was had, all to ensure a safe traversing for our lonely Prometheus (and his waxy, waxy dings). Mayo Street Arts, Portland, ME 07.21.12
"Sturgeon Sires Six Suits for Seger" donning six suits, Crank did some night moves. In the Boston Commons. Like a busker. With teenage blues. Woodstock, Boston Commons, Boston, MA 08.18.12
"SP/eyeing on YOU", donning large hands & a new circa 2005 helmet, his nibs explained his self in three passages, ending in a feathery seppuku. Future Fest, Stone Church, Brattleboro, VT 09.01.12
"Mouth Trilogy" A variation of toothy & gummed preening; Crank sang about shapeliness, talked in triplicate, and measured the voiceover accordingly, repeating: I like the shape of your mouth. Spectrum, New York, NY 09.14.12
"Effigy Melt & Fall Down" an Anti-Friend Hut reunion, vicariously performed as close likenesses; featuring a floor-bound Huso with a belly full of arrows, and Clog the-cardboard-Woodstove, asking one an all to simply "hold hands". Installed and viewed at the Festival of the Sacred & Profane, Battery Steele, Peaks Island, ME 09.29.12
"Loogat th' shape (of yr mouth)" Hatch battens and new head gears, Crank took his forty foot arms and complicated finger-zingers and hit the high road. Western coasts with buddies, Styrofoam Sanchez; Eastern lands with Nico Poisson...
Sugar Mountain, Oakland, CA 10.05.12
NorCal Noise Fest., Sol Collective, Sacramento, CA 10.06.12
The Wandering Goat, Eugene, OR 10.07.12
The New Frontier, Tacoma, WA 10.08.12
The Josephine, Seattle, WA 10.09.12
The Northern, Olympia, WA 10.10.12
Mike's House, Portland, OR 10.12.12
What's This Called w/ Ricardo Wang, KPSU, Portland, OR 10.13.12
Boom Bap, Portland, OR 10.13.12
LCM, Oakland, CA 10.15.12
Massachusetts College of Art & Design, Boston, MA 10.24.12
Strange Maine, Portland, ME 10.25.12
119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 10.26.12
Smokeybearcave, Allston, MA 10.27.12
Upstate Artists Guild, Albany, NY 10.30.12
Maybe a little something in North Adams, MA 10.31.12
"Yacht Trilogy". First, sound poems. Next, a darling Gordon Bok cover performed via esophageal water tube & origami boat device. And lastly, four smiles, worn as TV sets and iPods. Oh, Crank (insert dismissive proverb here). OAC, North Adams, MA 12.16.12
"Sturgeon/Urgent/C" Bridging the gap, Idm theft able joined Crank for a number of wavering box croons and quite possibly, our most work-out-worthy nod to Sheena E, with the words having been changed to sound more like that mighty band from the days of yore, Foreigner. Awww. Nude Ears Eve, 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.31.12


"Zibbyzibbyzibby..." Id m theft able & Crank took it up on the MC table for the coldest night yet. In the candlelight of yetis & hippies smoking and drooling, the duo took turns: churning, narrating, and ipp-opp'ing the groove basin. All at Apohadion Theatre. Portland, ME 01.23.11
"Stir Crazy Cabin Fever Innuendo". Not quite through, Crank doubled his boca and told a story of cock, butt, pump, & saliva (unspecified props, you might infer) for the Dead of Winter 5 show. Self-deprecation included! SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 01.28.11
"simulaction thrice shy" Id, Reed, & Crank did a few Mattaggart fluxus scores received by way of the post. Sort of an international affair; others were performing said scores far & wide... Strange Maine, Portland, ME 02.04.11
"forty candles"... someone probably yelled "FIRE". In the meantime, Crank ululated to Syd, while caressing his 30-something candles with cinnamon. A rap was attempted, and the cardboard castle nodded approvingly. Then, FINALLY, these colors began to run. Apohadion Theatre, Portland, ME 02.26.11
"Sock 'er maum" Crank, W2, Shayna, and Andrea-Jane tossed a few, grunting most pleasing audio spurts-- fourway in a sling! XFest/119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 03.5.11
"Gunter Brews a daily homily" Following suit, Crank loaded his balls, samplers, candles, socks, forks, pajamas, and his dream home, all into a tiny cup with some ice cold cerveza. Answer? Retraction! XFest/119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 03.6.11
"the most beautiful person in Maine..." Id & Crank doo-whet! Napoleon, bees, flowers, tea-cozies, rest areas, rifles, pole dancing, crangsta-rapping, and didgeridoods. UU Church, Brunswick, ME 03.12.11
"...cloudy day" A three part vernal, Crank long-armed a "you are" song; emission genteel detailed a projection of boobies; thirdly circumvenilation with rifle, clouds, and a blue sky. You? Are. Sun Worship 8. BUOY, Kittery, ME 03.19.11
"This isn't a buddy film, is it?" Crank & Taggart (aka PCRV) hopped in the Chevy once again, following the muse of western plains and desert high wire acts. By no means a repeat of their 2007 travails, this lil' ogre was as meaty, if not more testy and jostling: lots of glue, candles, cups, ropes, tape, chairs, suspended violins, vile loins, amplified portraits, paper punches, and volumetric elements were involved; with additional partnering with ol' chums, GX Jupitter-Larsen & Styrofoam Sanchez. Here's their route!
Pat's Place, Billings, MT 04.10.11
Wild Joe's, Bozeman, MT 04.11.11
Object Space, Spokane, WA 04.12.11
Fun House, Seattle, WA 04.13.11
Le Gong, St. John's, Portland, OR 04.14.11
Vinegar, Portland, OR 04.15.11
KPSU, Portland, OR 04.16.11
New Zone, Eugene, OR 04.16.11
Klowd's House, Sacramento, CA 04.17.11
The Zoo, Oakland, CA 04.18.11
Dem Passwords, West Hollywood, CA 04.19.11
Trunk Space, Phoenix, AZ 04.20.11
Small Engine Reserve, Albuquerque, NM 04.21.11
Denver Noise Festival, Old Curtis Street Bar, Denver, CO 04.23.11
"Specific Props Act-Shun # 44 (or 45)". Crank's second estrus debate, fully clothed. Parable of sorts in HD about hottentots and those dried fruits that one gets from certain palm trees. Frontier, Brunswick, ME 05.12.11
"Specific Props Act-Shun #Elsewise (or so)". Crank entered a fashion show. Under full moon, he saw four leaping short-nosers. As if by omen, Crank won. By bribing one of the judges with his Toyota. Altered Couture Fashion Show. Frontier, Brunswick, ME 06.15.11
"Pried & Hog-Tied" Taking a cue from the weather, Crank converted blue skies into cloudy days with an "arse-en-all" of cotton balls, penises, packing tape, a violin, and several yards of rope. Shout out? All the way. Bad pun? Mutha-humpah! Ende Tymes Festival. Silent Barn, Queens, NY 06.24.11
"all eyes on the man, man/Wall St. Urinal" Following thru on being so strung-up, Crank taped a triangle of eyes and gave it a face. Motown interrupted, and R. Mutt ossified the bankers with laps of sodium bicarbonate & a violin. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 07..9.11
"sleepin' with ze fish" In continuity with hovering all-seeing optics, Crank joined up with his dear emissaries, Mystic Out-Bop Review, jazzing it up a stanza whilst the eyes hovered, horns were exchanged, acupuncture machines sewed, and the third gallon (of sweat) poured... all to end in nail clippings, inflatable fishies, and a loose net cast. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 07.17.11
"sexy time bamba" Para Bailar? Oh, si! Crank bambas in c7 #9 after boobie projections, sweat drops, & shamanic tape-up clouds. Dance? Se necesito! Seizure Fest @ the Bombshelter, Brunswick, ME 07.23.11
"duet in wicked/Still the Same" id m theft & Crank abled the silly stringings, ceramic bowling ball crushes, stood there staring, rocked some Bob Segar threads, nervously held hands, busted some downeast dialect jams, and sweated through a few flags to a John Deere salute! Strange Maine 07.24.11
"near death #37", Clog & Crank joined up again, following thru with where the hobo aircraft arts commission grant failed: buzzing, crashing, and moaning, with scoops of flour to spare. Only at? Apohadion Theatre, Portland, ME 07.30.11
"gametes gametes gametes" keeping the prize fighter spirit aloof, Clog & Crank revisit one another; serving one another dinner, as Ant would to Aardvark, via skype, no less (but still able and theatric!) Apohadion Theatre, Portland, ME & LACE Gallery, Los Angeles, CA 08.04.11
"stre-e-e-tch" On a mission, Crank did the boot-tape-viola strange-love. And were your moons full of Sturgeon, too? Feeding Tube Records, Northampton, MA 08.13.11
"stre-e-e-e-tch" Still with his stances, the stanzas made for stretchy eyes, miles and miles wide! Weird Stalk Festival, Cambridge, MA 08.14.11
"extensions, retentions, and sun-shower yawns" Extending limbs, sending letters full of onions, crying at shows, nights of white satin, guitar trapeze with Toyota, & constable yawn stapling (with id m theft able); where else and how? Fran's your man. And Crank's tux shirt needed it badly. 08.18-20.11 Frantasia Festival of Out Music & Arts, Farmington, ME
"Different Animal" taking cues from the former, Crank busted loins, girded frowns, busted onions, and dashed for collections of seashells, scotch tape, portraitures, and twine. Where ya say? Europe's your pope, brethren!
Sumo, Lyon, France 09.03.11
la Jarry, Paris, France 09.04,11
Presqu il de Caen, Caen, France 09.05.11
Maison d' toilette, Cherbourg, France 09.07.11
au Jolly, Caen, France 09.08,11
Une indeterminate bar... Brest, France 09.09.11
Bistrot de Monsieur Jules, Nantes, France 09.10.11
Punk au chien, Lille, France 09.12.11
Sala Taberna Alabanda. Madrid, Spain 09.13.11
La Papa, Barcelona, Spain 09.14.11
La Carboneria, Barcelona, Spain 09.15.11
Boro, Brno, Czech Republic 09.16.11
Bomba, Krakow, Poland 09.17.11
Szabad az A, Budapest, Hungary 09.19.11
Jalla Jalla,, Ljubljana, Slovenia 09.21.11
Borgen/Full Pull Festival, Malmo, Sweden 09.24.11
Mayhem, Copenhagen, Denmark 09.25.11
Gårdaskolan, Gothenburg, Sweden 09.27.11
A und V, Leipzig, Germany 09.29.11
Sucked Orange Gallery, Berlin, Germany 09.30.11
Loophole, Berlin, Germany 10.01.11
Laboratory @ CCA, Warsaw, Poland 10.02.11
Kisielice. Poznan, Poland 10.03.11
"Cafe Derelicte" Following their noses, & hosing the pink tubes with sangria and hotdoggery doggerel, our heroes set up shoppe and watched the in's & out's of service industry breech the linen-thin skin of art, wiling its way into some conceptually knee-deep muddle puddles. So, where, you ask? Why the Battery Steele, friend! Festival of the Sacred & Profane, Peaks Island, ME 10.15.11
"Story Telling Night" Id m & Crank gathered skins 'round the firepit, orating tales of Wurther's Candy, onion tears, burning Freeport, ME; hippity-hopping, digeridoo'ing, & seeing thru each other's eyes; and finales about emasculation, guitar roasting, penis poems, and yet, still: keeping it kid-friendly. Or rather, more to the point, a general audience admission paradigm switch: for artists, their kids, & tree-huggin' far-lefties. Backyard Show in a Tower, Bayside, Portland, ME 10.21.11
"Total E-clipping" id m, Deix, & Crank did their joinery! this time, mess/ages regaled tales in art burn relief, moss/limb gaudy (sculpted not frayed), patrio-calumny, and widely scattered but easily assed anthems & handling. Sonorium V, Griffen Theatre, Salem, MA 11.05.11
"per/sever/an/sc-cz/ed/id" Crank & id did the maulway/unquite buddy phlegm up's the sideway to/fro ninja-tack/vis-a-vice (che) the UK, boggledom, and Eire! A woot or two had thrice sppports huey, and man was it PINK!
Smell Sound of Forensic Y's, Grey Area Gallery, Brighton, UK 11.11.11
Colour Out of Space Festival, The Old Market, Brighton, UK 11.11.11
secret show. London, UK 11.14.11
Fox and Newt, Leeds, UK 11.15.11
CCA, Glasgow, UK 11.16.11
Morden Tower, Newcastle, UK 11.17.11
Post No Bills Party Hoose, Edinburgh, UK 11.18.11
The Joinery, Dublin, Eire 11.19.11
Plugd Records, Cork, Eire 11.20.11
"Flestivus in Flee Plarts" Crank joined the girl-in-the-ten-pounds-of-christmas-lighting (DieX) for an optimum night of allergies, sing alongs, and really loud playback of a fairly red costume recording, done live, with an egg timer, and you weren't there, sigh. FLOFT, 381 Congress, Boston, MA 12..0.11
"Booty, Bits, & Boobs" reclaiming the previous night's accord, the duet/treaty continued with passionate cries for OCCUPATION, onions, tape, egregious costumes with Xmas initiatives, and a dance-a-thon, performed by a greeting card rendition of "la Bamba", as channeled thru the loudest-amp-in-Lowell. Where? Why, the 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.10.11
"Hun Were Ship" On a crucifixational spree, his nibs brushed teeth, bowed the heavy tantrum, and voiced it over in three acts. Was it red? The arms were spread, and LO, those o's. Sun Worship 11, BUOY, Kittery. ME 12.17.11
"Who I'd invite to New Year's Eve..." Crank invited them. One big, long list. With another big, long dirigible. And furthermore, many other big, long & loveliness(es) transpired, as the clock sputtered to a midnight rift. Down you count? On with the show! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.31.11


"Camouflage Marriage" Coming out of a wintery slumber, Crank joined Katt, Lauren, & Ben for a four-circle dentine set of carpal breakage and ship-fire. And later? Later was a marriage (of sorts, the jury's stilll out, heh) with the lovely Claire. In a bathroom. With an Italian guy. A bad, mean, drunk Italian guy. Spare no watering cans! XFest. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 02.27.10
"Triptychtastic Transtangenital Transfoamingnation" Ode to a three piece. Anointing a watering can helmet with just enough beer gave courage to do a phonetic film strip lecture, which finally, and once again, allowed Crank to transmogrify into a futuristic green Ubu (but this time, more like Max Ernst's). What's that you say? Too many words? Try two hairdryers, a ghillie suit, and the worrisome details about whether it's too early to wear white. Them's your mercy; and that's your Sturgeon.
Feeding Tube Records, Easthampton, MA 03.03.10
House of Going's-On, Manchester, NH 03.05.10
The Enchanted Forest, Burlington, VT 03.06.10
"iSought/iSaw" Going with a diptych this time, Crank bloodied fingers, sawed pi�atas, & hovered the horde with the gang. BUOY, Kittery, ME 03.21.10
"Poisson d' Avril" Oding gloats & geodes to Tzara, Crank had the audience perform "How to Make a Dadaist Poem" while he drove off to 7-11 for a PBR run. Upon his return, fully intending to play a video of his drive while listening to a tape of the audience perform their poetry, Crank discovered that the door had been locked, and that the joke was on him. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 04.01.10
"HAZE this". Unwittingly, Crank stepped into a hazing ritual. Ululations, gurgles, encores, and heat guns. Damn, nueva jork, damn! Goodbye Blue Monday, Brooklyn, NY 04.02.10
"FIST that". Lacking better vests, Crank did his aforementioned TTT three piece. Fists were waved, moshes ensued, people got wet/blinded/and blood-let. Dammit if someone giggled during the Bailey solo part of the show, prompting the subtitle immersion to be called "Fuck Experimental Music" i.e., yeah. Word. Hippie. Outer Spaceways Inc., Brooklyn, NY 04.03.10
"Poisson/Part 2" Crank performed Tzara's "How to..." as well as Ball's "Karawane" for sixth graders, as part of the Read Across America program. Brunswick Junior High, Brunswick, ME 04.09.10
"Bearded Sarah Mahoney Sisters" Crank & Id m Theft Able emcee'd a night of sonic pals from near & far. French was spoken. Shout outs to Top Gun. Poetry with the Out-Bops. Projected worlds & bouncers. Green inflatable heads. Mounts n' moles! Apohadion, Portland, ME 04.12.10
"C'est la merde F'est" Ghillie suited, inflated, & free jazz keyboard one night; "Eyes without a Face" duo with Id m Theft Able the next! All for Quebecois! Vive le France!
Strange Maine, Portland, ME 04.24.10
Apohadion, Portland, ME 04.25.10
Hooking up with perennial tour-pal, PCRV, the two trekked this big & wide American scrap. Water was used, as were Fluxus scores, inflatables, 50 gallon trash bags, 30 gallon feats, occasional police spotlights, electric shockers, ghillie suits, power electronics, brooms, bathrooms, more eyeballs, audience instructions, sweat, and probably a beer (or three). Here's where:
Denver Noise Fest, Old Curtis Street Bar, Denver, CO 05.01.10
Clawfoot House, Lincoln, NE 05.02.10
Floating Laboratories, St Louis, MO 05.03.10
Enemy, Chicago, IL 05.04.10
Betty's Grill, Nashville, TN 05.05.10
Heart's Desire House, Tallahassee, FL 05.06.10
The Laboratory, Gainesville, FL 05.07.10
The West Nest, St. Augustine, FL 05.08.10
Gregs! Fayetteville, NC 05.09.10
Maya Gallery, Greensboro, NC 05.10.10
Lloyd & Serena's House, Carrboro, NC 05.11.10
The Water Heater, Roanoke, VA 05.12.10
Art Damage Lodge, Cincinnati. OH 05.13.10
Bela Dubby, Cleveland, OH 05.14.10
Borg Ward, Milwaukee, WI 05.15.10
"A traditional serving of mister tea" Id m & Crank yelled "do you want some tea?" for quite some time. After a while, they broomed, celebrated, projected, served, and left an audience to parade the streets with pitcher heads, thirty gallon's worth of lapsang souchong, and a long sign-up sheet for the day's meme: aka, teabagging. SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 05.25.10
"Solstice on a Boat" 150 of your new best friends? On a boat in Casco Bay? Longest day of the year? Crank Sturgeon was called to perform with semaphore hands, extendo-penis, bicorn helmet, & inflatable octopod. A dash of Phil Collins was utilized in order to give semblance of order amidst the affects of too much sunshine. Casablanca Cruises, Casco Bay, ME 06.21.10
"FF" pretty unsure if there were snorkels to be found, Crank stuck to magnificent baby blue eyes, portable optic chips (will travel), and low groans (exempting the sweat dome, of course). Firefly Festival, Bethel, VT 07.03.10
"Husopathy" again with the baby blues: accompanied by cloud forms, tornado tubed gutter klip lights, woodcut glyphs, clapping hordes, god wires, and why of course, act-shuns. Another grotto by Crank, all at MEME, Cambridge, MA
Horde assembly & clap action. 07.16.10
Alcohol Reduction Ceremony/Down with the Ship. 07.17.10
God Wire/30 gallon parade. 07.18.10
"pzzAp" Crank, again, shot loomy sparks into badman antics: rendering injections, endearing corrections, and missing his popolo. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 07.28.10
"Work those 5's to th' 9's" Encouraged by his previous dissatisfactions, Crank performed nine acts, each five minutes in length, spread over the first two days of Frantasia. Remember Frantasia? Well it was as amazing as ever. And our hero? Probably still soaking in the blisters and blitz. Frantasia, Livermore Falls, ME 08.19 & 20.10
"The Man Shun" Crank rambled down to that part of 95 that everyone who goes thru wonders, "what's that house on the island with the bridge all about?" Welcome a bright red paper costume, amplified apple, and a sleeping bag complete with Kenny G, latex gloves, & an inflatable sturgeon, and you put the "merry" right back into Merrimac River. The Mansion, Newburyport, MA 09.05.10
"Man Shun Zwei" Taking cue from this antecedent, the vibe was downplayed, but bronzing mentions (honorable, of course) & art nights had their nighties ironed and salon styled. Worth the drive? Absolute. The Studio, Holyoke, MA 09.10.10
"Very Badge" And so the day turns to night, and frightenings of clamor politix & white people had the Hut family back on track. What, you say? Amplified badminton, silly! Starring Gaylord as Uzbekistan, Kit as Creta, Id m Theft Able as Quebec, Clog as Block Island, Kelly as Bahamas, Crank as Investistan, and Alonzo as Dropoutistsan. Birdies were shuttled! Add three more and it's a cock frenzy! SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 09.11.10
"Milli Van Illy" Cues all around, Crank shot for a solo tape on tape trill-along and 50 HI's while whoring a guitar electro for 13 life changing/alewife swapping minuet. "You're wearing pants for the first time!" Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME 09.12.10
"West words won't!" Joining his brothers from other mothers, Styrofoam Sanchez, Crank co-rode the thousand mile mark; trekking the up/down from Oakland to Olympia. Featuring much scratching, loose leaf polystyrenery, more 50 HI's, and much ado about spitting, these hairy lads counted their blushings and made survivable chalk-keeps into oedipal cement. So noisy, so delicious! Occurring at thee following jogs:
DIVA, Eugene, OR 09.29.10
Northern, Olympia, WA 09.30.10
KPSU, Portland, OR 10.01.10
Westside Welding & Machine, Vancouver, WA 10.01.10
Norcal Noise Festival, Sacramento, CA 10.02.10
The Zoo, Oakland, CA 10.03.10
"TENTENTEN" Crank rallied all his best friends to do it tenfold. And they did. Ten or so times, even! Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME 10.10.10
"Hoboplane" Crank, Clog, Chris, Gaylord, and DeiX lay cardboard to Miami, vis-a-vis a corrugated monoplane. Turrets were spun, vertigo lapsed, airmail delivered, and sputters propelled. Certainly not sanctioned by an arts commission, but nevertheless held at the Festival of the Sacred & Profane, Battery Steele, Peaks Island, ME 10.23.10
"Fuck Chronicles" In a basement, Crank pretty much fucked everything. On paper. With a paper-punch. And a rocking chair. Damn. Unitarian Universalist Church, Brunswick, ME 11.14.10
"Chair down hair" Again with the chronicles, Crank doggled up to the university & felt weird. Still, ol' Rube must have been emanating: the string went up, the chair rocked, the pelt rose, and giggles did soar, even with the rather disgusting (still?) conclusional "aaaaaaaaaand SWALLOW". Alumni Theatre, University of Maine, Farmington, ME 11.21.10
"whoso house detain male" Oh man. Harps. Smiles. Deutsch. Building shoddy houses from cheap bamboo, bobbing for apples, falling off th' bouncy chair: makes alcoholics of us all. Bathe the balls in brown ale? Hornet nest! That's gotta sting. Strange Maine! Portland, ME 12.04.10
"donegoneditchya" The hiss of cards fell shy of a whisper; broken, every bit. A strange, and yet despite the frustration, comfortable incursion into error. Ain't that fresh? 381 Congress, Boston, MA 12.18.10
"Happy 1915" Anointed in penis blockprint inflatable garb, and accompanied by a tall, tall other-man's-wife named DeiX, Crank and this adultress bred a baby-within-a-baby named Id m theft able! Birthdays within birthdays spelled trouble though: a dark cloud passed by & ensuing external circumstances colored the evening with gang violence, ravaging and emptying clips into people two houses away. A strange imbalance of celebration within, and the grim outside. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.31.10


"At Your Cervix" Recovered from Poland, Crank donned the red heart, meat grinder, and conducted an electronic cold seasonal discharge slurry session. Everyone got pregnant. The Underground Map, Manchester, NH 02.13.09
"At Your Drunken-Leg-Equestrian-Molester-Chest-Hair-Suit-Mop (the floor) Cervix" Repeating the effect from the previous evening, this time the cops came. All parties narrowly escaped into the surrounding mountainside. And everyone got pregnant. AGAIN? Call OSHA. Purple House, Northampton, MA 02.14.09
"Geddoutgeddoutgeddoutgeddout" A love triangle. Trio'd at the XFEST, a three day happening, Dei X and Crank made yankee hornblowers (probable coupling issues nay-say'd away) whilst a nonplussed dancer unplugged 'em, compelling the wonder of the world to step up the rungs and get reeeeaaaally cordial. Something about a strap-on? Paired twice! Yell hard enough and strange births result! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 02.27.09
"Mountain/Molehill" Crank & Clog again! Ducking under the chutes under the auspices of the equinox, the two duel-drew, projected Minoans, and colored the skies burgundy with chubs, slubs, and perfect country-timing. Coleman Burke Gallery, Brunswick, ME 03.21.09
"Finding Emo" Crank & Id m Theft Able: Cosby pants, Boy-in-a-bubble, lady heads, mandresses, tuba rome, and the a priori notary machismo that only gets better with age. Part four of their ongoing OPUS... name the other three. Only at Strange Maine, Portland, ME 04.01.09
"Cause Be Pants (pt 1)" Nearly separating wheels from mind, Crank fortuitously arrived in Burl's Hives, rendering his bucket lowly, and seated like a French writer in a bathtub full of contact mics. Outer Space Cafe, Burlington, VT 04.24.09
"Cause Be Pants (pt 2)" ... joined by Dei X, Marc Bisson, & the Skinny Vinny duet, pants were launched, laddered, and scraped to the tune of water and molehill mountain ranges. Third Life Studio, Somerville, MA 04.25.09
"Be/Boys" Two shades deep blue, lightning, primordial forms, butter, a bucket, dammit Joseph Beuys. BUOY, Kittery, ME 05.08.09
"too many Matts..." Matjaz (Gen 26), Mattaggart (PCRV), & Matt (Crank) all filled up the HUSO/Echo and trekked the up/down/side/side valley-um's of Nude Engle-gland. Amplified toaster? Police? Yep. Estrus circles? Ditto. Pills? Oh yeah. And sturgeon sightings? In triple!
Strange Maine, Portland, ME 06.10.09
Ello Gallery, Portsmouth, NH 06.11.09
Sweat Shop, Providence, RI 06.11.09
119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 06.12.09
Chevalier, Greenfield, MA 06.13.09
Flynn Studios, Burlington, VT 06.15.09
"Eddie Albert??" Crank & Id busted the rhymes and did a portable aqueduct tree watering parade. Arbor Day Late? Ululate: "yeeeaaah" with the purple hobos! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 07.12.09
"Her Ass (magnet twice)" Not one to repeat anything too too often, Crank took to a roof this time with pimply buttocks, fart sounds, a skateboard, feathers, a leafblower, ventilation tubing, the Radisson hotel, and, a penis. Your guess: reads like a greasy teenager with mommy issues, hup! Monastery Arts, Manchester, NH 07.18.09
"Tonight is your hot date with Crank Sturgeon" After a disastrous dinner date, our hero performed a set of copulatory acts with his salmon detector kit and a window. Rumpsti Pumsti, Berlin, Germany 07.25.09
"Revision Fishing" Gone fishing! Crank & ten brave guests hoisted bags of flour & brightened the canal, ululating for a soggy pumped & gardenhosed Huso. Koom-Bai-Ya was sung, like a power chord. Taking place at a semi-bridge over the canal, Leipzig, Germany 07.29.09
"Adaptive Pants for the Man who lived Alone" Unable to keep it together, Crank set task to watering his legs until they were sooo swollen he couldn't move! Water as iron, hosing the hosen, Huso watched from afar, his eyemouthear singing quiet hymns to the earth... Werkstattprojekt, Leipzig, Germany 08.01.09
"Past Work Pariah" Oddness but not without commode. Crank reset three old tasks for a host of critics, evening out the round with a trio of hrumm-singers and a body-sized basin. Ahoj! MC Orion, Tabor, CZ Republic 08.12.09
"Le Ver de Terre" Klasikhairycenterbore. Of mountains and molehills? Go for EVEREST. Thusly ensued a group video-installation-performance featuring Jerome Porsberger, Melissa Ramos, Crank Sturgeon and Rhys Turner... massiveness indivisible and under-coveted. Part of the Undercovered Festival at CESTA, Tabor, CZ Republic 08.29 thru 08.31.09
"Cuidado cuidado, cada persona" Crank got the fans on for a guided tour conducted both in Spanish and in contact mic. 100 degrees fahrenheit. David's House, Madrid, Spain 09.01.09
"... y me llamo don Quixote..." thereafter, rubbing it in, the beardosity and pranks. Los Jacintos, Madrid, Spain 09.02.09
"... avec une possion?" Oui! A revisiting with Nico! Naked, popping torpor, hand clutching the purple, ahem, yeah wellness course. SK House, Lyon, France 09.03.09
"Bap/tismo" With blessed returns, doing facial spins for Eric & Marylise at their hutch and red basement. Cure the ills and wire the nuts! Via 'L Kabaret, Thiers, France 09.04.09
"Suddencrank" A duel mit herr Lanz / Sudden Infant, Crank's favorite uncle. This involved deep research and finding a baby pram, some adult diapers, and doting phrases: "are you okay?" A und V Gallery, Leipzig, Germany 09.06.09
"1,2,3,GO" Ditching the pram for subwoofers, the Crank/Infant allegiance continued in unabashed volume and fisty wisty shaking. Joke revealed feats of strength by piggy-backing Crank for most of the show. Raum 18, Berlin, Germany 09.07.09
"Are you happy??" Crank rejoined the Maineland with a performance birthday session for Tashi. Equipped with fur-spoons, parachute, & potato flakes, Montville had an early inflatable winter! Kingdom Falls, Montville, ME 09.19.09
"Festival of the Sacred & Profane/Frank Sinatra's Cabin" Warned and wary of the wiled ill wills and weathering said reputes, Clog & Crank inflated amply in a cold wet room and did tribute to Ol' Blue Eyes. On request? Nay molest! The Battery Steele, Peaks Island, ME 10.03.09
"Noam Gnome Noam Gnome!" What's in the bag? Still ensconced, Crank wandered in from the rain & manifested a personal yurt. Oh yeah, and a purple penis. Feeding Tube Records, Easthampton, MA 10.23.09
"...all for Ms. Goodman" Continuing the saga, further shouts bound our gal Amy into the merry bananarchist mix; afterall, bananarchists know how to heft better and crack jokes about their skin colors than most of the other ists. So ensued. Many octaves. Many loaves. Many chutes. Personal yurts. Where was Mr. Buchanan? 381 Congress, Boston, MA 10.24.09
"Are we not MEN?" Crank joined Phantom Buffalo once again, this time in a raucous three guitar, howling, energy-domed-clad version of DEVO! When else? Halloween. Where else? SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 10.31.09
"Hunting Poems" Unable to get it up, Crank joined Id m Theft Able for some dirty laundry spinning. Apohadion, Portland, ME 11.09.09
"A fine fencing betwixt..." Crank, Gaylord, & Clog reunited as the Anti-Friend Hut, for god sakes! This time, narrating a series of paintings by John Joslin; complete with a rickety picket fence for a stage, three nekkid men lurching to/fro behind, and the effervescent curtain call. Apohadion, Portland, ME 11.18.09
In the lands below that of the thwarting everglading Manson & Nixon, a slurry of fish tales and genital umbrage ensued. Also known as, Crank's last blast before the winter hit with mittens and danders.
The Triple, Richmond, VA 12.01.09
Collab Fest 34/The Water Heater, Roanoke, VA 12.02.09
Maya Gallery, Greensboro, NC 12.03.09
Lloyd & Serena's, Carroboro, NC 12.04.09
Izzy's, Asheville, NC 12.05.09
Gregs! Fayetteville, NC 12.06.09


"HUSO Sightings; Guided Tour/Euro-as-pope/t)'Our" Embarking on the lonely loathsome, Crank reunited with many an old pecker and many more an old friend. The weather was as escapist as it was global, the beer as liberal as dew! Check and peck, what the heck...
Antenna Festival, Les Voutes, Paris, France 03.15.08
Warehouse9, Copenhagen, Denmark 03.18.08
WORM (NAI), Rotterdam, NL 03.21.08
Dennis Tyfus' Radio Show! Antwerp, Belgium 03.22.08
Les Bulles, Louvain la Neuve, Belgium 03.22.08
Something mangenerated... Hoegaarden, Belgium 03.23.08
OT301, Amsterdam, NL 03.24.08
Podium T, Tilburg, NL 03.25.08
Pit Noack's House, Hannover, Germany 03.26.08
Rote Flora, Hamburg, Germany 03.27.08
Ausland, Berlin, Germany 03.28.08
Tripolprojekt, Leipzig, Germany 03.29.08
RFTS HQ, Leipzig, Germany 03.29.08
multi.trudi, Frankfurt, Germany 03.30.08
Platfonn, Basel, Switzerland 03.31.08
Festival PIEDNU, Le Havre, France 04.01.08
"Busted" Crank's best Beuys impersonation! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 05.14.08
"B'tarded" Crank's second deepest impressionist dance piece, featuring mr. bubble, se�or poing, the heart, and an honest-to-goodness challenge to try and follow herr Chuck Lanz. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 05.15.08
"Loon Undone" A pinch of a micro tour including Crank's bad jacket, the pump, some water, esophagus, gabber-paced heartbeat, and a swollen, swollen crotch. Puns you say? Humor in noise is very serious business! Special nods to Realicide, BIRTH!, Ricardo Wang, & Soup Purse for rounding out the trek-of-minds:
New Zone Gallery, Eugene, OR 06.26.08
Westside Welding & Machine, Vancouver, WA 06.27.08
Duet w/ Soup Purse, KPSU FM, Portland, OR 06.28.08
Olympia Experimental Music Festival, Olympia, WA 06.28.08
"Camp Huso/Theremin Cramp" Packing the last minute bags, Crank & Jim (his accountant), wandered northwest for some firecandy, raver detergent, & Gonzo-inspired tales. Where? Firefly Festival, somewhere in Vermont 07.04.08
"Fat Chew of Gliberty" The full orchestra united for a liberty statue exchange. Following a day full of tornado warnings, the Anti-Friends upped the ante with a-dirigible/heil-gamelan-power-point-tighty-whitey (motorcycle gang) & yes-mom-uber-noise. All for la familia, Vialka; chest la merde. SPACE, Portland, ME 07.24.08
"Wally" Next, the guys rode route 3 up nor'east to a barn. Vaudeville, you say? Just try & hold a straight face when Wally interrupts your set. RO HE GE, Belfast, ME 07.25.08
"Turkey Island" Id m theft able secret show #9. Ferrying the audience to a tiny island, Shea, Id, Eric, & Crank shore up the seeds & lay down the mud. Covered in the to-fro, an encircling satellite aluminum canoe gave extra presence and mingled well with life preservers and clay. Presumpscot River, Windham, ME 07.26.08
"Mllmbllmbll" Puffingbiggoitertugheartstrungmanibulashiesse! Noise Thunderdome 2, Providence, RI 08.09.08
"Damn obscure of you" Crank interrupted Id m Theft Able. Both wore white. Crank brought lyrics. Id built dams. Results? Only at Strange Maine, Portland, ME 08.14.08
"Her ass was like a magnet" Croaking cans, birthday solutions, Mr Rogers, & powdered milk. No one got electrocuted, although man made milk and rockstars got wet. Say it: WOW. MOM!!! Montague Phantom Brain Exchange 8, The Rendezvous, Turner's Falls, MA 08.27.08
"Festival (of the) Sacred & Profane" Crank & Clog gathered friends again to bedeck an RV. Featuring Mahouts and a white elephant (constructed out of said RV, pooping gold bricks), a fair amount of badman apple juice made the procession plausible. Peaks Island, ME 10.18.08
"All for one..." and why not? Reads: these shows are getting really personal. Three people showed up. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 10.23.08
"And huns for all" Well, peeps, actually. Catapulting hundreds of marshmallow peeps, the crowd tossed 'em back; Crank amplified them in a watery slew and proceeded to get electric. The Firehouse, Worcester, MA 10.24.08
"Sweat Pig, Tar Hog!" Crank, Kelly, Dave, Clog, & Gaylord got all bundled up in piggy noses and noises and white hats for our good pals, tarpigh. It was a weepie night, seeing all the old tribes in one room again. Odes and songs were performed, all for the good of memory and the universal heart-tug. Meg Perry Center, Portland, ME 11.29.08
"Wez to Wylacz Festival" Up and at 'em, Crank dropped & jeered. No one got hurt nor pregnant. Centralny Basen Artystyczny, Warsaw, Poland 12.05.08
"Wez to Wylacz Festival" For the double entendre, Crank & Eric Boros led the metal for a space reunion in time and django guitar anthems... following such, Crank donned appropriate swimming attire and led an exercise regime with local talented boy band, "Drew Bud". Where again? Centralny Basen Artystyczny, Warsaw, Poland 12.06.08


"Pineal unpluggered-which-witchie-switch" Heh. Another blown fuse = another Crank unplugged and blow-session; and who knew that therein lay old devilry from the college-days to act as beacon stabilizer and emotion conduit. Feed Your Head, Salem, MA 01.13.07
"(sar)-Casco (gay) Cabernet" Joining Mystic Out-Bop Review, Crank & Id m Theft Able portrayed portals into their closet virginity clauses, revealing hours of therapeutic revelation and maybe an ostomy or three. SPACE, Portland, ME 01.19.07
"DULY FIVE" Keeping the skids going, Crank & Id joined Chiaso for some space odysseys and plastic squeak toy shrines: elixir. But that guy was such a dink. Local 188, Portland, ME 01.21.07
"Bunda Loaf" Crank & Id lipped it with Mike Pride and Fritz Welch for a four-way tunnel-hux trove. Goodbye Blue Monday, Brooklyn, NY 02.15.07
"No man sweat/safety code" (see below) Black & White Gallery, Williamsburg NY 02.16.07
"No man sweat/safety code 2" A couple of wrap-session solo husolandix with a porpoise tent, head apparatus, circuit licking, and semen-milk-mom-Clapton-theory. Czech box? Ewe betch. Gallery Inzane, Providence, RI 02.17.07
"So Low/Do It!" Crank & Id returned to memes. Best half hour ever: guns, wits, moans, & spits! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 03.18.07
"My Two Matts" Crank & PCRV hit the shit for the fish eye balled and left coast plunge. Complete with ample amps and sweat and that obnoxious song "Holiday Roads" going over and over in their heads, one needn't read a blog to get the skinny; all attempts would rather you just refer to this journey as having put the ass back in "classroom dialectic".
The Bog (recording session), Seattle, WA 04.04.07
SS Marie Antoinette, Seattle, WA 04.05.07
The Hog House, Portland, OR 04.06.07
What's This Called w/ Ricaro Wang/KPSU, Portland, OR 04.07.07
Diva, Eugene, OR 04.07.07
Liz Albee's B-day/Terminal House, Oakland, CA 04.08.07
Hemlock Tavern, San Francisco, CA 04.10.07
Pehr Space, Los Angeles, CA 04.11.07
Nestor's Fuckhole, San Diego, CA 04.12.07
Rhinoceropolis, Denver, CO 04.15.07
"ChachaCanCan" Head-up, head-down (parable/exercise dance imperative); head-removal, hit-your-head (seeing red flashing lights); multiple concerns thereafter and having a beer can pyramid singalong. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 05.12.07
"Shanty for Ports" Cuneiform logic & double head acoustic have the kitchen in stitches & narc-ing the wine. Chutney Palacial, Portsmouth, NH 05.23.07
"Over 40, Over 50" Crank-Id/3rd installment drama: old porn, manrape, chalk rendition, double tangle bound, baseball pants, wigs, temple-cd/helmut-mut, and "Talk Dirty to Me" Strange Maine, Portland, ME 05.24.07
"Bdbs..." seven or eight or nine peeps mounted a stage to provide suction in the Badbus number and then proceeded to watch the waves recede (aaaaah!) SPACE, Portland, ME 05.26.07
"CancanTwoface" Head-up, touch the ceiling faN, gggggggrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkk... down; rescind the offer, parable happy baby paramour/boopboopboop. Guitarrry. Done in five. Later? Badbus! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 05.30.07
"no such/none such" Solo portable with magic suitcase in a CO2 basement full of punks. Yep, DIY/HC/vegan potluck/showtime. Results: splendid. Although Crank was old enough to be their dad. In a house... South Portland, ME 06.07.07
"Ey'm cover-din(shet)//an' dit sauks" A solo seated pooper pauper histrionic; all the while covered in Hersheys, the labia-room was ne'er the same after that (seems your trip-tick had gone awry) 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 06.29.07
"Rey-Poo Re-New" A street act-shun; stalling the car and broadcasting follie / foolery, W2, Kit, & Crank revealed the dire mire of king shit & half beardedness. Lowell, MA 07.27.07
"CZ, A or U" A two-four lecture/emergency solo emancipate (sans pants) with dirigible and fuck-op's. Valley of LOVE? Werddup. Boca and raga-do and inflate.
Soto Gallery, Boston, MA 08.09.07
Kriya Studios, Burlington, VT 08.10.07
"Highway to the Dangerzone" A double boca stream-of-babbler... Crank and Kelly (aka Foxtrot and Top Gun) dangled from a parachute in the fog & the rain at the yearly Sacred & Profane. Carrots? Battery Steele, Peaks Island, ME 10.27.07
"A little fat..." Crank did a talk-and-speak with books, fuchs, and squeals. Also blows. And ran away. Piano Factory, Boston, MA 11.15.07
"HUSOHUSOgrottoestate" Building a grotto ("hus"), Crank tried to give weight to sales and trends in real estate for an audience of tender, young waifs... best drink? The neighbor text message: "shut the fuck up over there" Slaughterhouse 2 Performance Event i.e., The Butcher Shoppe, Allston, MA 11.17.07
"Gentlemen Hecks presents Opportunity Trolls" With handsome devil, Galen Richmond. And his handsome circuit bends. Nitrogen bubbles gave doubletime hairline fractures with one man A and one man U. Instructional? All conic. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 12.04.07
"Michael Finnegan" Crank grew fat and thin again. A last minute pack dug out the book bend, tube weener, & noisome whirly lights; resulting in doods giving the finger, buxom transtangentalism, and Uncle Ron doing the twist (i.e., the Portsmouth). 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.08.07
"W2:2015" All parties stomped, lectured, received ridicule, and yet proceded to inflate the new year in at the 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.31.07


"Acute Zonal Occult Outer" Crank & Clog exhaled a bit in honor of our good manfriend, Fritz Welch. Objects were lobbed via catapult. Children squealed with delight. Eyeballs were gifted, pills were spilled, garage doors opened and Huso bounced atop the roofs of passing taxis! The Drawing Room, NYC, NY 01.06.06
"I'll get sued one day..." Crank hit a dood by accident with very large head gear; unable to apologize cos the show was translated in pentacostal cuneiform. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 01.14.06
"Catheters & Colors" El Vaquero Solitario (con mucho, MUCHO Huso) returned! With XTRA big eyes, steady guitar riffs, bad jokes, and... pee! Chutney Flatts, Portsmouth, NH 01.21.06
"Poems from the Ass" Crank orated a fine lecture on anal equestrianism; Phantom Buffalo joined in for the crescendo, and the rest was a duke, floop, dupe, and fling for the WORKNOT. SPACE, Portland, ME 02.03.06
"Ummm..." there was a troublesome little lecture in there with ol' Id m Theft Able at Strange Maine� memory sieve and colander... late February, 2006
"... more in the cradle of life" Crank/Id m duel/drooled some nicely evolving interplays at the Third Life Studio, Somerville, MA 03.03.06
"Crankslub" Crank's amplified up-close video spit bubbles & broken bulbs equated to reasons to take a break. SPACE, Portland, ME 03.17.06
"ADAD" And yet, there was something to be said about volume... one can do no wrong. Crank did another swinging light/video cam projection spit-up, moaning "All Ill", crying about his nongenderspecific father, sheriffs, and pulling off riffs that measured up to one Richie Sambora. Redemption happens when a trough of joy begat! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 04.01.06
"Microbursts/Manysweats" Crank hopped on the death petrol and did a mini tour thru Candyland. Strapped on the head-tin, penis-kabob, learned "Nejimaki Chouzame", and set sights for southerly flows with Peeinmyfacewithsurgery, Id m Theft Able, Supernatural Hot Rug & Not Used, Kelly Nesbitt, and many other horny uncles; further accessed the athletic break-gdansk into Canada with girl-power-duo, Gastric Female Reflex. Here's the lowdown:
Workspace at 91 Meserole, Brooklyn, NY 05.18.06
Gallery Inzane, Providence, RI 05.19.06
Nom d' Artiste, Boston, MA 05.20.06
Chutney Flats, Portsmouth, NH 05.21.06
Jeff the Pigeon, Allentown, PA 05.27.06
The Bank, Baltimore, MD 05.28.06
A basement in New Brunswick, NJ 05.29.06
The Red Door, Portsmouth, NH 05.30.06
Suoni Per il Popolo Festival, La Sala Rossa, Montreal, QC 06.17.06
Wavelength Festival, Sneaky Dee's, Toronto, ON 06.18.06
Neutral, Toronto, ON 06.19.06
"Harpsie Sound" an incredulous pairing with Shea D. Mowat; involving a sinking barge, dissolving paper costume, maroon bedsheet, gashed ankle, unpumpable sea water, lost trumpet, and later, yep, the gasoline. Stover's Point, Harpswell, ME 07.15.06
"Something something Emoticon/Perennial Sausage Party European Tour..." with Gastric Female Reflex, Monopolka, and Eric Boros. Shunning all the secrets of men, Crank hoppped the puddle and did the bible dance for twenty odd zealots and their moms. Kudos to all that helped (name drops aside); if you've read this far then you must know by now:
Little Devil, Tilburg, Netherlands 08.04.06
de Hondenkoekjesfabriek, Nieuwleusen, Netherlands 08.05.06
Gazoil Organ, Tongeren, Belgium 08.06.06
de Livingroom, Tienen, Belgium 08.07.06
de Garage, den Haag, Netherlands 08.08.06
Atelier Mommens, Brussels, Belgium 08.09.06
HOUSE PARTY, Lille, France 08.11.06
Radio Centraal performance w/ GFR Antwerp, Belgium 08.12.06
Death Petrol Festival, Antwerp, Belgium 08.12.06
Prince Albert, Brighton, UK 08.13.06
Fenton, Leeds, UK 08.15.06
Junction Club, Bristol, UK 08.16.06
Home Entertainment, Offenbach, Germany 08.18.06
Adolf666/Alte Buchbinderei, Berlin, Germany 08.19.06
MS Weltfrieden, Leipzig, Germany 08.20.06
Spektakel 14, Copenhagen, Denmark 08.21.06
Aurora, Warsaw, Poland 08.23.06
Imbir Club, Krakow, Poland 08.24.06
Sub Club/Ears Chewing Satisfunction Event, Bratislava, Slovakia 08.26.06
Crossclub, Prague, Czech Republic 08.27.06
Dessert Cafe, Brno, Czech Republic 08.28.06
MKC Koperz, Koper, Slovenia 09.01.06
Menza pri koritu, Ljubljana, Slovenia 09.02.06
Oficina di Buenaventura, Castelfranco veneto, Italy 09.03.06
Sonic, Lyon, France 09.04.06
Freaks End Future, Antwerp, Belgium 09.05.06
Radio Centraal performance w/ Andy Bolus Antwerp, Belgium 09.06.06
"just BLOW" flapping with his freedom song, the crowd joined Crank for a plastic wrap session and eventual loo-wander; group hugs and family ties. SPACE, Portland, ME 10.03.06
"The Sacred and Profane" returning to zen, Crank (as Ubu, king of Poland), Kit (as a non-pedophile green robot), and a wine-spilling French waiter named Pierre Shutzman, roasted and toasted a parade with articles of celibacy, bourbon, and well, yes, HUSO the dirigible. When the petrol ran out, the trio did mouth farts in the cave. And drank the rest of the bourbon. Peaks Island, 10.07.06
"All Hallow's Eve..." for kicks, this was a doing done every year: trundle to Portland and take part in the Showstring Theatre Halloween parade thru the West End. This year Vialka was in town, so the two made for a sturgeon trio. One can probably still hear Marylise laughing in the residual ether. 10.31.06
"Bologna Blow" Sputtering and jizzing and watching people leave en masse, Crank gave a luncheon meat CD to those remaining survivors. Monastery Artists Collective, Manchester, NH 11.10.06
"No leavin'" Learning from the night before, bags of leaves were incorporated into the show to imply a subtle materialist metaphor. Then the audience blew plastic while Crank ate a bag of cocaine and excitedly globbed cummy-cums all over the autumn extravaganza. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 11.11.06
"Our Hot Date with Kathy" Id and Crank met Kathy, who at the time, was apparently an Italian porn star. After trying to impregnate one another, it was then decided that a plastic lady would have better results. Milk was exchanged for a little while and then mothers were resented. Then a fort was built, and finally, a much needed Russian translation and balalaika concert ensued. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 12.26.06


"Our Product" solo projector/powerpoint lecture/meatgrinder/dog biscuits/omnichord/bbgun/& no flame retardant. Finest line: "hot stuff coming through" as Crank carried a flaming wok by the opening act -- a nonplussed & disaffected touring band -- narcissistically into their own tour-shit, and talking loudly at the bar. Local 188, Portland, ME 02.20.05
"Synectors Sound Concert" A composition by Kit Demos (Mystic Out-Bop Review) featuring an ensemble cast with Id m Theft Able (vocals), Crank Sturgeon (guitar), Chico Valentine (drums), Sean Lent (saxophone), George Weatherbe (trumpet), David Noyes (trombone), Alonzo Holliday (saxophone), Scott Bates (drums), Kit Demos (bass), and Alleric Nez (violin). Local 188, Portland, ME 03.20.05
"A bad case of crankcase" solo sturg' singalong w/ a suitcase-clapper-monster concoction and a "he can ACTUALLY play that thing" wicked-bad guitar tuning session, including the Denver-anthem from back along about Black Sea Mamas. Again with the Oedipus? Heh. Okie Street, Providence, RI 03.25.05
"Con Doe Lisa" The Hut family reunited for an art-show retrospective (ie., a best-of nonworks) featuring all the yells of testicle-head, mildewy Clog suits, Gaylord's fetish piles, ample video loops, talking suitcases, phallic collages, turntable exercise bicycles, ephemera, and yes'm, even a little bit of love. The show capitalized on a transgression outside: erecting a cardboard "Art Condo" (the bane of civilization) to be sold to someone, some artist to-be-sure, the performance highlighted its attributes and durability as Clog & Gaylord lept from the roof of the gallery into the condo. Id M Theft Able & Southernman acted as cop/religious fanatic with all the decorum of sincerity as the REAL cops finally showed up to shut us down. Alonzo told them "nothing to see here, officers". Ubu Studio, Portland, ME 04.01.05
"Tea-pee Twice" the Id M Theft Able duet enlarged: w/ amplified globes, lip syncs, flamenco trills, face plants in water pans, mu-mu's, hammering candles (a REALLY bad idea!), & climaxing in a singalong w/ the audience & Cerberus Shoal. SPACE, Portland, ME 04.08.05
"Tree-total-malarm" Adding a third iron-on, Id m, Crank, & saxophonist, Sean Lent, performed multiple sitdown tooth-filling tingles. Seppuku was born. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 04.14.05
"Mouth of port" Solo fishsauce trundled to the state of nude hampshires; a bleeping librarian & his illiteracy test! Muddyriver Smokehouse, Portsmouth, NH 04.24.05
"May Day" Two hardest audiences ever: adult lesbian anarchist vegan types & their nine year old boys. Crank inflated the latest in a series of neverolutions, one 12' beady-eyed monster, begging all to feed it pieces of small flightless bird. Very political! Where? The Howe 2 House, Lewiston, ME 05.01.05
"983 Miles" more w/ his inflatable mate, Crank off'ed to join Gastric Female Reflex & Fat Worm of Error. Very Political! Flywheel, Easthampton, MA 05.05.05
"Oui, madame, une poisson" Dirigible derisions continue over the border... Wapstan referred to the show as being "very prog". Aaah freedom! Very VERY political! The Electric Tractor, Montr�al, QC 05.07.05
"Duo Seppukku" Sax-Sean & Guitarcrank made one hundred 15 second blaats! Local 188, Portland ME 05.15.05
"Deride, Deridge, & Dirigible" a solo narration about oxygen supplies: ridding the ego/id debate w/ circle breathing techniques, dual voice nojz, & audience air-duct additions (feat. an inflatable avatar costumbrage). Ubu Studio, Portland, ME 05.27.05
"Cocaine/She don't lie" defeated by the heat, Crank shaved hair-free spots, told the audience they were "begging for it", did some work on a butterfly, and then a pinch of blow (w/baking soda & vinegar). Strange Maine, Portland, ME 06.10.05
"Neptune Can't Crank" Oh goodness! Loading up the metal chunks, homemade plug boxes, flamenco songs, and dirigible huso-creatures, this micro tour was a three way massage; touring our tucked and tumble nor'easterly traffic jammed region with stops at:
SPACE, Portland, ME 07.07.05
Okie Street, Providence, RI 07.08.05
Pan Nein, Boston, MA 07.09.05
"This fucking sucks!" Gettin' down w/ the giant paper-tipi-gdansk, Crank tried in vain to do a movement art showcase for a basement full of noisers... and no one was buying it! Portsmouth, NH 07.29.05
"Dye Anno Sore Us/Mutual fund appraisal" Getting up (or down) with a giant paper costume; doing the art lectum in paper country, Frantasialand, ME 08.27.05
"My Two Dadas" Getting blown up (or down) with Id m Theft Able & a refrigerator-boxed Daughter, Time Lag Fest, St. Lawrence Church, Portland, ME 08.30.05
"Day of Labor/Doing some banking" Trashsuit number twelve: flashlight wars, swazticks, & feminine products. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 09.05.05
"Testimony on why I moved out of Boston" Duped into playing a show when in fact there was a cooler sausage party down the street. Understanding that he was sloppy seconds, Crank performed for maybe nine or so people. Great Scott, Allston, MA 09.20.05
"Gdansk along a dance of pills" Crank delivered truisms of love about Lowell but memory escapes as to why. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 09.23.05
"An unspoken angst (hase, pfeffer, nase)" As Hitler, Crank declared war by annexing a pair of Little Bo Peep bloomers. Local 188, Portland, ME 09.25.05
"In your eyes" Newly liberated with some snappin' fresh workpants, Peter Gabriel was all the rage... Strange Maine, Portland, ME 10.05.05
"Seppuku Duo 1" Crank & Lent double-dangled the exhaust fume mentraal. Ubu Studio, Portland, ME 10.29.05
"Seppuku Duo 2" Crank & Lent hubble-bangled the ex-host flume dental! Local 188, Portland, ME 11.06.05
"Bad chat pineal" in a sweaty tyvec suit, Crank summed up stereo thoughts with piezo demons. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.03.05
"Foam poem mit dansk ov pee-yulls" dueling Id m Theft Able & Crank discussed new geoforms in ancient architecture, a must for pants. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 12.17.05
"Seppuku Tres y Cinco" Sean, Alonzo, Id m, Chico, & Crank whup-up the fancy for a evening of sleet and man-chested improv. You might of missed it, but go figure! Acoustic Coffee, Portland, ME 12.23.05


"Czesc" A solo Rube Goldberg-combo root veggie-circuit third eye apparati with table-core lecture, and a 12 volt motor strapped to the forehead which would etch drawings from the other side. Psychicthyosaur. Local 188, Portland, ME 02.03.04
"Deadyetiarabsorrydad" One fine solo fischkopf. In the shits of being called "penis-guitar" by Chris Cooper, Crank stuck to his guns with a masturbational lecture, smiley face ventilation hose prick, a little alka seltzer to spit on the audience, & quite possibly, the best guitar in the world. Safari Lounge, Providence, RI 03.13.04
"Ceylon Mange" Sitting in with Bill Nace & Dylan Nyoukis and some bad glass cool drool duels. O'Brien's, Allston, MA 03.14.04
"Deadyetiagain" more of a hippie tongue twister than Providence; Crank dug out the happy wee-wee and spat up again. Some guy was very concerned & proceeded to wipe up the seltzer-foam during the performance. It stains, you know. Flywheel, Easthampton, MA 03.15.04
"Thinging hith thong..." Mimicing Cindy Brady, Crank solo-toggle switched while RRRon & the audience went in for a crumpled green attack. RRRecords, Lowell, MA 05.07.04
"more shit (flying) at..." Clog showed up with action Hulk fists, redeeming a really stupid evening of laptop techno. Thank the maker! Flywheel, Easthampton, MA 05.08.04
"anti-Anti-friend" somehow a performance turned into an audience Q & A session/lecture with no weird sounds whatsoever. Gaylord showed up & Clog sorta' led the discourse: taking the whole exposure of deep dark secrets into a brilliant collaborative latenight protest (starring the audience) out on the sidewalk, Local 188, Portland, ME 05.09.04
"Gaylord of the Rings" Crank & Gaylord, gearing up for their imminent tour, decided to double-doink the waters down south and central. It was one of those noise-dood shows, later betrayed by the term, "sausage party". No one seemed to care, but that could have been the point. The Spacement, Worcester, MA 05.21.04
"Euro 2" On a mission of minsterial efforts (Eric & Marylise's wedding), Crank once-more packed the bags for Grand ol' Europa. Armed with a slab of wood with a guitar pickup, a penis-head ventilation tube, a few collaboration partners --Gaylord Pasternak (in tow) and later, Fritz Welch (PSI) -- the schema was the thing of dreams, shared with some of the finest of the defiled: OVO, Le Comp du Cul, Billy B. Beat, Czapski, Syncopated Elevators Legacy, Norma X'ed Out, T.I.F., Fiber Cast Mold, Tochnit Aleph (an amplified dinner aktion), Vialka, MXBRCKRT, Spermatak, Mayo-Man, Sjab el Kebab, Banaan, Moysk, Lucky Dragons, Parabelles, Avarus, Mauro Antonio Pawslowski, Af Ursin, Tomutonttu, Kouhei Matsunaga, Dave Phillips, Runzelstirn & Gurglestock, Eric Cordier, and Tore B�e... details can be read at www.portlandphoenix.com (Sept 3-9 04 archive)
Scheld 'Apen, Antwerpen, B. 06.12.04
Squat 111, Louvain la Neuve, B. 06.13.04
Oli's Livingroom (Volume 6) Tienen, B. 06.14.04
(the squat at...) Ghent, B. 06.15.04
CO-9 Squat, Zwolle, NL. 06.16.04
de Garage, Den Haag, NL. 06.17.04
Sociale Dienst Planetart, Enschede, NL. 06.18.04
Die Sibirische Zelle, Berlin, D. 06.19.04
Black Fleck, Potsdam, D. 06.20.04
Tochnit Aleph HQ, Berlin, D. 06.21.04
Boschbar, Z�rich, CH. 06.23.04
Espace Autog�r� des Tanneries, Dijon, France 06.25.04
La Cerise, Paris, France 06.26.04
KiKiKaiKai, Lyon, France 06.28.04
Raymond's Bar, Clermont-Ferrand, France 07.02.04
the wedding of Eric & Marylise, St Jean des Ollieres, France 07.03.04
guest'urgeon on FM Brussels w/ Salami, Brussels, B. 07.05.04
The Student, Brussels, B. 07.05.04
"Yr Kop is oon Lull" (what was supposed to be the final personal penis-tubed psych-show, also w/ Son of Earth & Idea Fire Co), Strange Maine, Portland, ME 07.09.04
The "Wicked New England Tour". Riding the perpetual distortion wave, the ol' fish head (and yeah, penis tube) joined Emil Beaulieau and Prurient for a westerly flow out to the Pacific and back. The roster also featured a historic meeting with Pop Culture Rape Victim, who joined the tour, as so did Jessica Rylan and Pedestrian Deposit. Onward the caravan ventured, doing a number of shows that would have terrifyingly fantastic sound every night, but were simultaneously broke-as-shit. The term "sausage party" also applied, but that was par for the course, of course.
Bug Jar, Rochester, NY 08.24.04
Capsule, Cleveland, OH 08.25.04
BLD, Columbus, OH 08.26.04
Greh's house... (need one say more?), Detroit, MI 08.27.04
Idle Kids, Detroit, MI 08.28.04
Wolf Eyes' practise space/party Ann Arbor, MI 08.29.04
The Empty Bottle, Chicago, IL 08.30.04
Somebody's basement... (tho' indeed memorable!) Milwaukee, WI 08.31.04
Bedlam Studio, Minneapolis, MN 09.01.04
Grafix, Billings, MT 09.03.04
Detour, Spokane, WA 09.05.04
SS. Marie Antoinette, Seattle, WA 09.06.04
The Midnight Sun, Olympia, WA 09.07.04
The Embalming Room, Portland, OR 09.08.04
Somebody's living room... Twin Falls, ID 09.10.04
A big private warehouse... Salt Lake City, UT 09.11.04
Monkey Mania, Denver, CO 09.12.04
Orange Blossom Gallery, Omaha, NE 09.13.04
Apop Records, Columbia, MO 09.14.04
University of Kentucky (on the campus lawn), Lexington, KY 09.15.04
Secret location, heh heh, Pittsburg, PA 09.16.04
And yet another basement... New Paltz, NY 09.17.04
"Yes/NO" coming off this whole exhaustive tour, Clog said "yo check it" and Crank ended up in a little dark room (next to where their Sarcophagi once lay) doing an impromptu horn-tape-vocal marathon for three hours. The Sacred & Profane Festival, Peak's Island, ME 09.25.04
"The Olaf Reunion" No miserly conducts could hold candles to the golden double trouble with Fritz Welch! Aqui the Bushwick, Brooklyn, NY 09.30.04
"Oui oui monsieur" Emil, Crank, and Prurient -- again reliving their "three sweaty guys" tour, this time in a little Honda, putt-puttering the border-collies and such. Casa del Popolo, Montr�al, QC 10.08.04
"Lost on Jean Talon/le Tigre Express" And again, lush procedures at The Electric Tractor, Montr�al, QC 10.09.04
"Steps in a nude direction (part 2)" Crank dug it out for a solo-inflatability ball binder, crustacean squeeze mammalian costume, one more for that yes/no road, & a shared gem w/ tarpigh & OVO... SPACE, Portland, ME 10.18.04
"Tea-pee Ceremoany" Water anyone? with Id m Theft Able, Strange Maine, Portland, ME 10.31.04
"Auld Lang Syne" Called in to toast one more blasted year the connect-a-dick celebration united Gaylord's head to Crank's crotch, with a thousand sparkles and a leafblower... Happy New Year! SPACE, Portland, ME 12.31.04


"Anti-Friend Hut wimps out repeatedly" Somehow the dice had it that this would signify a hibernation period for the Hut as a trinity. A lotta shit was thrown; all kinda ended there. The Skinny, Portland, ME 01.19.03
"Homage to the Floridian Man (fish)" And so, solo sturgeon, donned in a loin cloth Ace Hardware bag, decided to go on a "spoken word thing" narrative-whatever schema-hiatus. Meanwhile, Rhinolady armed the audience with ping pong balls in order to beam Crank in the head. Unaffected by this response, Crank wooed and smarmed his way free. Stillhouse Studio Theatre, Portland, ME, 03.09.03
"Art for Art's Hake" And there you have it (folks). Crank, long-longing to play across Europa, set snout to the task, all during the onset of the WAR. Featuring cohorts such as Tote Stadt, Piediepie, Dead Husbands, The Nautilus Deconstruction, Man Manly, Ventolin Orchestra, TBTTBC, Marks Spencer, Susipank, and piles of others� do some digging for the published article through www.portlandphoenix.com (June 6, 03 archive).
de Hondenkoekjesfabriek, Nieuwleusen, Holland 04.05.03
de Kloemp, Bunsbeek, Belgium 04.06.03
het Poortgebouw, Rotterdam, Holland 04.10.03
OCCI, Amsterdam, Holland 04.11.03
Extrapool, Nijmegen, Holland 04.12.03
Zoro, Leipzig, Germany, 04.24.03
Izbruhov Kulturni Bazen, Kranj, Slovenija 04.26.03
Akumulator (brief duet w/ drunken local on soup pot), Domzale, Slovenija, 04.28.03
Club Gromki, Ljubljana, Slovenija 04.30.03
Egocity, Zurich, Switzerland 05.04.03
La Cueva No-Art Gallery (brief duet w/ Man Manly), Milano, Italy 05.07.03
Geluidsoverlast, Antwerpen, Belgium 05.11.03
le Bunker, Brussels, Belgium 05.13.03
Stereophonic, Antwerpen, Belgium 05.14.03
"Seance for Hans: The Hank and Crank Telepathic Show" Minus Hans, a weird spontaneous event transpired featuring Mystic Out-bop Review; swatting & sweating & blurping with an audience clad in paper fish heads, swaying in a mist of bathroom spray and summer umbrage, at the Stillhouse Studio Theatre, Portland, ME 07.21.03
"...guest destruction" Continuing with Mystic Out-bop Review, Crank snuck into the hotseat as back-up guitarist, Local 188, Portland, ME 07.27.03
"The Hank and Crank Show" Otherworldly from across the steppes of Umlautstan, Crank joined with filmmaker Hans Michaud to present an evening of emissaries, gentlemen's dystopia, and fortuitous solutions. Film, fish, blood, and dirigibles. The showcase was also under the premise of an art opening and suitable wedding roast for some darling artschool pals. Empty Set Gallery, Pittsfield, MA 08.09.03
Art shows (noise sculptures) at both Stillhouse Studio & Empty Set Gallery, August 2003
"The Milk Will Disappear" The Sturgeon magic show and "spoken word thing"; ditto crossing the line with crying about yer dad, snorting black pepper, dueting with a tape recorded voice track, and failing miserably at a very easy disappearing milk trick. Local 188, Portland, ME 08.24.03
"Mantamen Space Aged Pharaohs" Keeping in the tradition of otherworldlies, percussionist Chico (from Mystic Out-bop Review) joined in with some snake charming and bling-blongs and rotisseries. Zeitgeist Gallery, Cambridge, MA 08.31.03
"The story of the loathesome Dirigibillionaire" Still fascinated with dirigibles, Crank did a lipidia transformational confessional amplified angry worst-costume-in-the-world, sharing the secrets w/ The Psychic Revolution Tour. SPACE, Portland, ME 09.13.03
"Inflatability fish-men and their secrets: Crank & Id m Theft Able duo/tour/du jour"... taking this inflatable-fish costume and combining with Id m's euphonium/water-plate-voice treatments, several fine travels ensued: featuring near-misses with Cock ESP's hot smack injection of flying objects, and settling on in for grins with U Can Unlearn Guitar, rubbing skins with Rotten Piece, 4WAT, Muzak, Occasional Detroit, Costes, Prairie Pusher, The Taliband, Tote Stadt, Next Syphillis, and Mr. Ski Mask
WMBR FM, MIT, Cambridge, MA 10.05.03
The Thirsty Ear, Cambridge, MA 10.05.03
The Providence Civic Center, Providence, RI 10.06.03
The Living Room, Maine College of Art, Portland, ME 10.07.03
Starfoods, New York City, NY 10.08.03
WPRB FM, Princeton University, Princeton, NJ 10.09.03
Tarantula Hill, Baltimore, MD 10.09.03
Mohawk Place, Buffalo, NY 10.10.03
"All Hallow's Eve..." One of those art school dealies: a collaboration with one of the world's greatest pop groups, the Ponys (the Time-Lag ones, now revamped as Phantom Buffalo). Gaylord also entered into the picture to receive an operation & thereafter proceeded to run around butt-naked; the entire night resulted in a swirling orchestra of noise & psych and inflating a giant worm which pooped millions of styrofoam peanuts. Maine College of Art, Portland, ME 10.31.03
"Happy nude year..." In keeping with the tradition of mucking, Crank again hooked up with an end of the world collaboration: mutating, sending radioactive fallout everywhere, and joining in on the orgy with the Ponys once more, SPACE, Portland, ME 12.31.03


"Mask Ernst vs. Cardboard Audience" Redemption. Total madness emerged one Saturday night. A drunken mob showed up to witness Clog bursting through a towering & most-heavenly ziggurat; Crank gave a sermon with middle finger hellos, fishing reels, extensional tube arms, and everything went airborne, vive le Labatt's. Clog & Crank took on the night's evildoers whilst Gaylord swatted naysayers with a snowshovel. With enough alcohol abuse, the people were one, once again, one more time. The Skinny, Portland, ME, 02.23.02
"Improvisation w/ filmmaker Hans Michaud", Crank left his helm at home for a noise-as-noise set, performing a live score to Michaud's multiple film projection collage. Collective Unconscious, Robert Beck Memorial Cinema, NYC, NY, 04.23.02
"Crank vs. Clog" A regular hootenanny. Rhinolady had it in her abilties to make the lads some capes to embody their super powers. The fiendish plot then involved bunny shaving, caviartin panties, & Clog in a perpetual loop, tripping over his new cape. The Berwick Institute, Roxbury, MA, 05.04.02
"Festival of the Burning Bed" another show in the woods transpired, this one involving a giant bed suspended over a bonfire, delivering an entire family of effigies into a pyre, burning gloriously in flames. Later, an electric guitar was roasted on a spit while an elected official from the Green Party ran around naked. There must've been around 200 drunk yuppies from Portland in attendance, and so things got pretty lame after that. W.Scarborough, ME June, 2002
"Record Rub and Play" Anti-Friend Hut decided to encode their operations as the Pro-Chum Yurt. Crank had allergy problems but nevertheless proceeded with a turntable demonstration, stapling said vinyls to Clog's costume, Gaylord's guitar & skating remaining LP's across the sidewalk, repackaging the remains and offering to the audience the shards as their latest "release". Clog then upped & died, and Gaylord did likewise. With the audience's help, the chum-cardboard robot was then dragged out to a traffic island and left for the crows to pick at. Local 188, Portland, ME 06.03.02
"Pop Series" Crank embarked on a solo portable endeavor with his new tupperware guitar, bubblewrap helmet, handstamps, and tried to play as many shows as possible, repeating the same act, beginning at the Eighth Annual Olympia Experimental Music Festival, Olympia, WA (which was a good show) 06.29.02
"Pop!" Unity Church, Windham, ME (which was a bad show) 07.07.02
"Pop!" RRRecords, Lowell, MA (which was a good show) 07.09.O2
"Pop!" Swedeborgian Church, Portland, ME (which was a bad show) 07.13.02
"Anti-Pant-Hut" an unconscionable duet w/ Gaylord. Wandering out to the stage naked, the twosome proceeding to tape each other butt to butt and wrap-up in giant tigerstriped undies to the tune of amplified hand saws and a loop stating, "I know two gentlemen who in five months made five million dollars advertising products on tv..." Result? Haunting. With the amplified handsaws, many an old magazine & record met their maker. One keepsake was a particular Pat Boone LP -- one side covered in nasty serrations, the other with dried bloodied fingerprints. Take that, Portland! St.Lawrence Church, Portland, ME 8.22.02
"Crank's 10th year/Cock ESP's 100th Show" CrankenGaylord were on assignment to NYC -- up again to their ankles with more taped butts, tropical Polynesian grandma jammies, and plenty of birthday cake courtesy of ESP. Gaylord said "No" a bunch of times, but with proper coaxing and pizza, was cajoled into not running away that night. Paid in-full: another twenty bucks! Pyramid Club, NYC, NY, 09.07.02
"Cranken Theftable" a duet w/ Id m Theft Able wherein the yellow and purple team nearly bit the big one that night on the ride home. Other lessons learned? Sorry guys, no more death-ambient festivals. Not enough variety of hue at the God Blast America Festival, AS220, Providence, RI, 09.22.02
"Cirque de Poulet, Islam of no Manhugs" Anti-friend's cloud suit treatment dove into the far reaches. Under whirlwind skies & October rains, the scours of primal autumn opportunity sent the three northerly to Frankfort, ME, for a festival held in an ancient old creaky chicken barn. The power went out at the show, and later, Jay tossed out the cloud costumes that they'd planned on reusing. 10.19.02
"Unacceptable Sturgeon" a Crank solo teetery noise stretch; with the brand nude hinge-guitar and enforced audience mantra (in order to receive the free cassette). Zeitgeist Gallery, Cambridge, MA. 10.23.02
"Purple yellow hobby horse" An out of the blue phone call requesting "anti-friends". Problem was Clog was off somewhere, and Gaylord said "No". So, bearded ones, Id m Theft Able & Crank, hupped the hup-hup and bobbed for apples to the sound of casio bleets and trombone bulb. Was it an Anti-Friend? Geno's, Portland, ME, 11.09.02
"Bop Ants and Crog und Clank" A buzzy misdemeanor of a duel for their part, Clog and Crank ended up offering the audience slugs of Goldschlager and then proceeded to settle down in front of a tv that once held Friendbot's genitals. Pfff. Local 188, Portland, ME. 11.17.02
"Reaping the cone mother's milk" An informational transgression featuring Clog & Crank. What transpired was a pink paper cape with fish eyes, a discussion with projections depicting pictures of underwear, France, and Armenian mothercultures. What followed was a demonstration about sipping mayonnaise, which is, afterall, the cone-mother's milk. Side note about about condiments -- if one wants to clear a path, simply offer mayonnaise to an audience. It's like parting a vegan Red Sea! SPACE, Portland, ME, 11.22.02
"Manfish hilarity solo" Asked to be on the radio, Crank beat up, or maybe beat off an acoustic guitar, and was then asked deep questions about where he saw himself at the age of forty, WJUL FM, Lowell, MA, 11.30.02
"Crank as Emil, Beaulieau as Sturgeon" Defying the will of a crappy show promoter, sneakery sleuths ensued with the loudest-sound-system-yet as Emil & Crank traded acts. Hell Lab 3, NYC, NY, 12.03.02


"The Temple of the East Bulgarian... aka: Touch the Fuzzy" a solo furrychesturgeon, w/ a handsome new chest pelt that revealed notebook mantras and a bad case of crabs. But he was no Canadian! Sugarshack, Lowell, MA 01.05.01
"Pariah on a Stick" Once more: Clog and Crank showed up, with contributing mischief by Mystic Out-Bop Review to deliver a full-on calumny with large cardboard ziggurats, film projections, zenned-out orchestrations, and more audience members than just the usual faithful girlfriends. The (original) Zeitgeist, Cambridge, MA 01.26.01
"Anti-Friend Hut Presidential Fitness Award" More with the awards: this time in the guise of cottage cheese thighs, Dolph Lungren/George Bush comparisons, audience Q & A's involving winter weight gain, Gaylord pedaling madly on an amplified exercise bike (mounted w/ an LP on the wheel), and nevermind the ensuing snowball fight (instigated by RRRon). Local 188, Portland, ME 03.11.01
"The Burning Baby" not entirely a Hut ensemble, but indeed something disturbing the otherwise peaceful tranquility of the Maine woods. Featuring a legitimate fire marshall's permission to burn, this bonfire performance involved a 14' flammable infant, plenty of brass horns, a mild sense of urgency, and a motorized baby doll with a match in hand... W. Scarborough, ME 05.19.01
"Call of the Wild Tour" an excursion featuring Emil Beaulieau & Walter Wright as Due Process. This wee mini tour ventured out into the flat & mesmerizing midwest, performing shows under a cannabis cloud with fellow sonic sooth-sayers, Concrete. Arco Iris, Grand Rapids, MI 06.08.01
University of South Bend, IN (an interesting show performing before a fairly upset student body; during RRRon's Q&A with the audience, many students had critiques that parroted conservative media such as "this music is responsible for the shootings at Columbine" et al, drivel. Not to be deterred by this, Crank did a "of poops and kings" lecture sans pants, trilling the parrot back at the brainwashed crowd with "Rey Poo". It was a milestone for Crank and RRRon -- expecting a lynch mob, apparently performing minus clothing can still clear a room) 06.09.01
...followed by a perfectly peaceful drive up to Sturgeon Bay, WI, to discover that the town was enshrined in fiberglass sturgeon! The ensuing Chicago show was booked by an idiot who didn't inform the venue that a show was happening at said space.
"Anti-BBQ-Hut" For the somber day of independence, Clog, Crank, & Gaylord, all wearing lil' aprons, schmashed up a poor hapless BBQ at another DIY-hardcore-band/grange-hall-show-thing in Westbrook, ME 07.03.01
"... is there a lawnmower repairman out there?" Less into awards and more about mustard, the Anti-Friendlies decided to conduct an anti-art show involving a dysfunctional lawnmower, some fine suitcase costumes, plenty of food to-be-subjected to said lawnmower (hotdogs, condiments, etc), Id m Theft Able as the "Wizard of Space & Time", and a few traffic conditions. Filmmaker Hans Michaud later showed his epic film, "TANK". Local 188, Portland, ME 07.22.01
"duh marriage of Slyther" triad w/ Southernman, Crank, & Gaylord. Mininsterial callings drove this crew out to Buffalo. Little did Crank & Gaylord know there was an actual real wedding component involved. So, they purchased some groovy used suits and spent most of the hot summer day laughing & drinking Labatt's. Fast forward to showtime: Gaylord took it upon himself to accept some mushrooms so he could then run away during the middle of the performance. And then there was something involving a two-person horse costume for the bride & groom to wear and Gaylord's substitute, a blow-up doll. But by that time it was five in the morning and no one really cared all too much. Lessons unlearned. The Continental, Buffalo, NY 08.12.01
"Times being what they are" Weird shit happens. One of the first Crank attempts at doing less-amped up narratives; one that featured dirigibles, fans, and low drones. This one utilized two inflatable towers that would rise and fall with the currents of air. Note the date of the show. Unity Church, Windham, ME 08.19.01
"Performance for the Box Creature Sarcophagii" Clog, Crank, & Gaylord built coffins for themselves. Historically, personally, and kind of artistically, the timing was appropriate. The Sacred & Profane Festival, Peaks Island, ME 09.22.01
"Anti-sans-the-'lord" Crank & Clog, minus Gaylord, donned long johns, dunce caps, and a huge canoe box ziggurat two-person costume. Back and forth they traded poems, riffs, and epithets under the hissing gargle of goldschlager, managing to earn a shabby $20 for gas that the show promoter was reluctant to give. Sydney's, Lawrence, MA 10.20.01
"Ten by Ten", a wee improv blast with RRRon for his Due Process "plus one" show. Berwick Institute, Roxbury, MA 12.08.01
"Steps in a Nude Direction" Clog, carboard robot turned actionpainter, painted and painted and painted to Crank's rambles about wearing one boot. A good shrieky deeky and apparently involved enough cheer and relaxed standards in apparel (again, sans pants) that a few people had to leave�. Mobius, Boston, MA 12.13.01
"Merry something or other..." The full Hut trio turned into a quartet with a guest theremin player named TV Head (Alonzo from M.O.B.R.); there they provided beautiful sounds and even tossed gifts into a less-than-Christmas-cheerful audience. One of whom asked, "why do you do this?" (good question). St. Lawrence Church, Portland, ME 12.22.01
"Umlaut Christmas Protest Uterus" So the next day, Crank & Clog got the hell out of town, making for Boston to try a similar debacle with a much better return: flying Xmas presents aloft in fake snow, a beautiful Clog concertina-solo, and fearful retribution from a lesbian theatre troupe (in fact the real danger was sneaking across the street to tinkle in a Christmas tree lot). O'Briens, Allston, MA 12.23.01
"The year of our Palindrome" The wholly trinity -- Anti-Friend Hut -- mincing homonyms and palindromes on toilet paper (2002: poop is dood), bid welcome the new year, waving swords and such, even carrying out a public shooting or two, but again... the listless audience. Free St. Taverna, Portland 12.31.01


"Rnstwidtuj" a none too shabby four way first; an improvisation with Id m Theft Able, Shea Mowatt & Adam Shutzman. Unity Church, Windham, ME January, 2000
"Bigot" Clog und Crank, confounded for titles for this duel, came up w/ the next (worst) spin. BINGO night w/ Chicky Stolz thus became BIGOT, except you had to soften the "G" like a Frenchman and drop the "T". The Free Street Taverna, Portland, ME 02.06.00
"When You Are a Man" Anti-Friend Hut Award Ceremony. The threesome were into awards and badges. Gaylord erected a pup-tent in the middle of the venue and made noises inside, occasionally tossing out "cummy socks". He then burst out, wearing just his fat-head mask a toddler's camouflage U.S. Army t-shirt. Crank was also sans pants. Clog was in testicle-head mode. Someone insisted the trio was pushing some "gay thing" as a theme. VOIX, Lowell, MA 02.12.00
"Toddler Jean Revolt" Anti-Friend Hut grew into an ensemble cast that night, featuring Id m Theft Able as the town crier, Mowatt as himself, and Southernman as Ape'raham Lincoln. Rhinolady kept screaming "pants" while tossing bags of clothes (meant for Goodwill) on us. Ape-raham (wearing an Osh Kosh B'Gosh pair of overalls as a beard) delivered the "E-pants-ipation Proclamation" and liberated everyone except the hipsters at the bar. The Skinny, Portland, ME 04.03.00
"Cinco de Mayo" Sans Clog (even though it was his birthday), this pi�ata flavored show w/ Gaylord Pasternak resulted in something again-dire; following a delightful song about traveling many miles, Crank encouraged 'lord to do something other than shrug. Taking a high speed sander, Gaylord affixed LP's to the bit and sent shards of high velocity vinyl everywhere. None were injured, although Gaylord, again, received notice of his employment termination. VOIX, Lowell, MA 05.05.00
"Blit Frig" Another Crank solo naked intervention, and as time may tell, the best solo of all time solo-performance solo, featuring bird cage papers used as wall hangings, gerbil food, the motorloo, and brought to you by the word, "pendejo". 3 Fish Gallery, Portland, ME 07.10.00 "Ruse of the Archaeopteryx, ie., Pict/Hun" Yet another solo Crank performance; one that crossed a difficult land bridge as the earlier performers sucked the air out of the room. Sans pants, save for a turntable trouser and a crude papier-m�ch� bird, Crank made the audience stand up and help send the archaeopteryx flying via plastic cowboy/indian toss. Local 188, Portland, ME 07.31.00
"Building a better democracy with Rene Descartes" This was a sneaky duo, and one of those approximated first duets featuring Id m Theft Able; using vacuum cleaners and cries for enlightenment, a perplexed DIY hardcore audience looked on, rather disaffected. The Eagle Lodge, Westbrook, ME 08.09.00
"Fantc�k!" What better, for the most beautiful October day in the history of the world? Gaylord was rehired and promptly attired in hunter's khaki; Clog & Crank made groovy extendable-trunk body suits. An elephant hunt unfolded, starring the entire Sacred & Profane Festival parade with an ensemble cast featuring Id m Theft Able, the Mystic Out-bop Review, and Shea D. Mowat. And then it happened, a sighting and resulting chase -- the elusive Toyotafant -- hunted, tied down, and cut open to reveal a jazz trio, performing a funeral dirge. Peaks Island, ME 10.14.00
"The Temple of the East Bulgarian Inflatable Limbaugh Derider" Crank decided that were if he to continue performing grange-hall shows. they really needed some jams. With this solo interactive singalong, performing the same glum, DIY punk rock kids, Crank had them soon dancing and sweating it out to a John Denver tune, ie., Crank's first ever mosh pit. Presumpscot Grange, Portland, ME 10.23.00
"Of Poops and Kings" An untelevised bonzai and thrusty Hestonlike narrative w/ Crank, Clog (wearing a stuffed polar bear for a helmet) with them there Mystic Out-bop Review, all decked very regallike. It was pretty close to that time of the year when one could get an audience to replace lyrics from Deck the Halls with "Don Ho is now our Che Gueverra". Local 188, Portland, ME 12.17.00


"Wire-head Gametot" Reading some old favorites by Richard Huelsenbeck, Crank decided to do an ultimate double-headed & pyramidal-zigguratus nudey-butt strip tease and mouth to prick inhale/exhale consortium candidate for future scarring & libidinous scathes. Sometimes, good guys wear white. Ziggurats. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 01.16.99
"Portable Man-Boy Lyceum" invited to partake in the "Love Machine" group show... Clog and Crank lost their original Valentine's Day couple to-be-married (RRRon and Maria were a no show). A miracle happened when a drunk Gaylord (wearing a tv set on his head) walked through the door. Rehired on the spot, 'lord was joined in matrimony to one William Goat -- a man who made his appearance quite nakedly, wearing simply a luminous, aluminum double dong thong. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 02.13.99
"Big Dumb Family Sci-Fi" aka "Fat Kid Camp" Crank and Gaylord proceeded to unclothe and redon fabrics of their childhood: Gaylord in a black-box & pantyhose that camp counselors insisted he wear, Crank w/ a tube-assembly penis-pi�ata, reminiscent of being an exchange student and perennial teen-virgin. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 03.07.99
"The Impolite Lecturer (Phossy Gloat Bad Triangle Anthropomorph)" A sleep deprived thank you Lowell, with special heart-tugs to a very nice Roger Miller. VOIX, Lowell, MA 03.27.99
"Book Fuck Larceny" Anti-Friend Hut threesome at their grandiestness: girl-angst, air freshener, Nazi baby pi�atas (a theme here), and that damn Simon & Garfunkel tune that sings about lies lies lies. The Free Street Taverna, Portland, ME 05.23.99
"Anti-art Auction" The three heroes again, sidewalking via a guerilla performance at an art opening. As it was a nice warm day, the ceremonial death sequences were replaced with stacks of free-art to be given away. Memory notes that a nicely dressed middle-aged lady demanded a picture titled, "Frig". 3 Fish Gallery, Portland, ME 06.25.99
"Performance for thee man-hug worms" For a zine release poetry slam, Anti-friend Hut showed up in bubble-wrap costumes and made more than one of the aging male poets leave or put their heads in their hands. Such dismay, Oak Street Theatre, Portland, ME 07.07.99
"Anti-Friend Hut 'Lympics" Sidewalk stunts of strength and virtue: long jumps, races (w/ cinderblocks affixed to ankles), and just bouncing up and down on a door (covered in bed springs). Local 188, Portland, ME 07.10.99
"put yer pants on..." Asked to crash an evening of snooty free-jazz (in a new art venue housed in a former slaughter house), Crank and Gaylord arrived with aforementioned door (covered in bed springs) to deliver a sermon called, "Lovers on the Volga". Gaylord proceded to hang upside down where the meat shanks were drained of their life juices while Crank did a nude impromtu ballet w/ a man in a deep-sea diver's helmet. Greetings, Empire S.N.A.F.U., VOIX, Lowell, MA August 1999
"God's Bright Engine" Group show... Noise sculptures� Performances� Local 188, Portland, ME September, 1999
"Performance for the Bungler of Taxidermies 2" Crank borrowed a car to provide services for Southernman's last hurrah... The Vestibule, South Boston, MA 10.01.99
"The Sacred and Prophane" Anti-Friend Hut, Y2K. Unsure about being invited out to perform at a festival on a small island off the coast of Maine, the trio constructed a full-size guillotine, replacing the blade with a drum cymbal. What ensued was a beheading ceremony using old clothes and dummies: if the head didn't come off, shoot it w/ a revolver, then toss the corpse into a fire / routine (as seen on tv!). This inspired two guys to bumrush the show and attempt to toss Crank into the bonfire while yelling "Annihilate the Nihilist!", Peaks Island, ME 10.30.99
"Intro the Baby Gay(lord) Nude Year" Still hyped-up by the Y2K infection, Gaylord & Crank performed into the new year... wearing diapers and such, um... it was at Gaylord's house, back when he lived by Denny's. Portland, ME 12.31.99


"A lot of cops for a little city/10 One Acts" a solo Crankensauce, (opening up for the touring Lucas Abela & Deerhoof), doing ten one-acts in ten minutes. The grouchy lady at the bar (cigarette-filled hole) informed Crank that he was no longer allowed to perform there. The evening found its fulfillment when the cohort almost got arrested for tossing a snowball at an unmarked cop car. Cooper's roommate, Gaylord, got frisked (it's on tape somewhere); Abela's intervention spared our colleague from an evening in jail. The world can be grateful for Australia's role in fighting fascism. Geno's, Portland, ME 01.15.98
"Clog vs Crank" By this point the Anti-Friend Hut name began to stick. And the duo was all about the sticks. Again relegated to opening up for some punk bands, the show was mostly just an amplified fight, ending with their trademark tragic death scene. Free St. Taverna 01.24.98
"Voice of the Beehive" A group art-show featuring works by Clog, Crank, and their friend John. The exhibit was great an' all, but the real underpinning was that this show begat the idea of plotting Hut happenings on the sidewalk and other locations (art openings, what have you). This was a tectonic shift from their relegated role of always being the opening act for the three punk bands at the two rock clubs in town. Pleasant Street Collective, Portland, ME. April 1998
"WZBC Benefit" The burgeoning solo Crank urged onward, with manfish magic guitar and slinky microphones and a weird little video on his tv. By strange luck, RRRon didn't appear for his set, so it Crank did his first (of several) ode(s) to Emil Beaulieau. A few guys there weren't very nice, but that's Boston for you. The Middle East, Cambridge, MA 04.25.98
"Requiem for the Beehive" Meanwhile back home, the highlight of their sidewalk art-events featured the unforgettable introduction of Gaylord Pasternak to Anti-Friend Hut. Wearing a far-too-large metal funnel w/ a cymbal affixed, the new surly third proceeded to toss burning LP's into the street while Clog & Crank swatted, cuffed, and swore alot with black plastic pope garments. Pleasant Street Collective, Portland, ME, 05.02.98
"Death to You" Furthering procedures in death sequences, Anti-Friend Hut did it again; this time, armed w/ giant Q-tip battle sticks and a murmuring mantra of "death to you" while Gaylord repeatedly became unplugged. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 07.11.98
"The Wedding of RRRon and Maria", Requests for an ichthyologist or a minster inspired this performance wedding. It was also a primal first for Crank & Gaylord, in terms of a duet. Gaylord charmed and woo'ed them all as Alterboy. RRRecords, Lowell, MA 07.25.98
"Friend Bot" A nine minute malestrom: Clog & Crank's aluminum foil robot son (Friendbot) was accidentally killed to reveal a little tv set where his tum was. On the little tv played a video of male genitalia. Amidst the yelling "you killed my son!" there was the interplay of, "at least he still has balls!". Clog then took down the entire table-of-gear in this tragic death scene. The Free Street Taverna 09.04.98
"Motorloo" a very troubling interaction between Crank & Gaylord. The Space, Worcester, MA 09.05.98
"Motorloo Dos" an even more troubling interaction between Crank & Gaylord. Starting out as a discussion about proper land-planning & environmental issues facing urban sprawl, an itch for buggering Gaylord with an extensional ventilation hose became, well, as they say on tv, "actualized". The Middle East, Cambridge, MA 09.06.98
"���������?�� 凉爆���?�兴�݊���!!!" duet w/ Chris Cooper resulting in near electrocution as a guitar string broke and landed IN the power strip, The Red Barn, Ayer, MA 09.98
"MRMF Music Festival" The answering machine was RRRon going, "ya wanna play Saint Loooey?" So the lot -- N'easter's (Emil Beauliaeu, Crank, Skincrime, & Zipper Spy) -- had an all-expenses paid trip out to join up with the Haters and John Sharp to do noises at this Budweiser sponsored, black limousine chauffeured, indy-rocker event. Still to this day, one of the the weirdest outings yet. Crank still wears the "MRMF" name badge with pride. Ah you know. St.Louis, Missouri, 10.08.98
"Commode Minstrels in Bullface" the East Coast version of said ensemble was headed up by Chris Cooper and his fellow Portlanders, and as such, had the opportunity to open up for Caroliner at the Knitting Factory. Gaylord and Crank also did their duet earlier that day at one of Cock ESP's very first Phi Phenomena gigs (5 minute shows for each group). Both events were delicious, although for reasons unknown, some soap operas ensued, as well as a rash of name-smearing internet tedium. Friends. 10.20.98
"All Hallow's Hut" A good solid trinity! Anti-Friend Hut (decked in red obelisks), proceeded to incorporate hotdogs, stalled traffic, and living dogs in the street eating the hotdogs. Gaylord went gloriously berserk. Later he & Crank hasseled some death metal bands, and there was something about sleeping w/ the wrong girl. More drama. The Pleasant Street Collective, Portland, ME 10.31.98
"Benefit for the Filmmaker's Co-op" a solo manfish in tight white pants and space-age projections. CBGB Gallery, NYC, NY 11.12.98
"Que que que" And lo, and an almost missed duet w/ Gaylord, Smithwicks, Lowell, MA 11.15.98
"WMPG Benefit" Anti-Friend Hut. One of many listed under the heading "finest": gonging away, amplifying tricyles, wrapping up Gaylord in either a sleeping bag or burlap sack, only to get insulted by a dipshit local radio DJ. Zootz, Portland, ME 11.19.98
"Down with People" Anti-Friend Hut, a co-curational Clog & Crank event/installation. A big event, featuring loads of out-of-towners and quite a handsome array of good art. The masterpiece (to end all) occured during the Hut's sidewalk show-intro-preamble. While doing battle wearing cardboard battleships (it being Pearl Harbor Day afterall), a coked-up Gaylord got on the roof and proceeded to act as a puppeteer with some old costumes over the audience. Things got more animated when 'lord hosed everyone with a fire extinguisher, tossed the empty metal container into the audience below, striking the camera-guy in the leg on the second bounce. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 12.09.98 (no deaths, Gaylord was fired)


BC, ie., Before Crank.
The dates are fuzzy by this point in the story.
Placing the beginning of the tale at the tail end, the following ensures that the history of CS will be permanently destined for malware and tapes lining the thrift store shelves. And so it reads:

"Crank Sturgeon was something of a crazy little breech-birth, an odd fingerling formed and seduced out of its primordial goo in the year 1992. Starring in a bunch of art school nude ballets (with chainsaws) and a number of passionately obtuse "art bands", the fish-like transmogrification hadn't quite revealed itself, although there were plenty of paper bag helmets, golden undersea ziggurat-like costumes, and even an early depiction of Huso here and there that alluded to his nib's future self-actualization.
Then, one summer, Crank went wandering off and met some lovely new friends, as lovely and as kindred as his college brethren. Deeply moved, the following marks Sturgeon's first award-winning ten minute act of Huso-indoctrinated calumny"

The following is an abridged, slightly-biased smattering of notarized undoings.


An uninformed art-kid started doing nude performances with Wile E. Coyote-inspired spring shoes, trombone, possibly a guitar, and Radio Shack mini-amps. These works took place under the guise of a series of programs called "SPEED SHOW". Dates unknown. Massachusetts College of Art, Boston, MA


The moniker, Crank Sturgeon, was born out of a name-game futurist-inspired cassette release called "Crank Ciudad". This tape was mailed anonymously to friends and art school professors. Soon thereafter, the name would apply to video works, installations, and the aforementioned nude-dude, who continued his role as naked person in various unsettling predicaments with the SPEED SHOW crew, whereupon he chopped penises off of patriotic mannequins, burst out of obelisks, and was chased by chainsaw-wielding samurai. Dates still not readily knowable. Massachusetts College of Art, Boston, MA


Crank discovered HUSO while reading an encyclopedia on fishing following hernia surgery. Date unknown, and for all we know it was 1992. Big Boy Farm, Harpswell, ME
"SPEED SHOW" Meanwhile, the further roles as naked guy continued with the crew, including but not limited to amplifying one's loins, hanging upside down like a Hieronymous Bosch creature, insane and inane video projections, all the goods and services and what have you. There were a ton of these events, all fleeting yet monumental to the mind of a twenty-something, and you know, not terrible either. The SPEED SHOWS climaxed sometime in late 1992 or 1993 at the Institute for Contemporary Art, Boston, MA


Crank continued to produce works pertaining to HUSO. Around this time, he also appeared on Somerville Cable Access Television, under the pseudonym J. Edgar Scholar. Another show was produced under the guise of Dead Winter Distortion, held at the Harvard Film Archive, Cambridge, MA
"Knifeboat Youth Brigade". Crank teamed up with fellow art school colleagues to form a passionately obtuse art band. First a duo, then a trio, this project teetered frighteningly close to their historical idols, The Residents, although with a bit more grime and lack of talent. Unfettered by their shortcomings, they cut their teeth by opening up for various rock bands throughout the Boston area. The trio sort of petered out after a huge multimedia juggernaut waste-of-time-and-ego-damaging-show held at the Coolidge Corner Theater. All that is to say, while not a bad start for a bunch of art school grads, kind of difficult to relive.
"Eighteen Days aka, the Natural Disaster Tour" Crank and his writer buddy Greg drove across the country in a Buick Skylark. In that that span of time they witnessed tornados, fires, locusts, and faked an earthquake. A relic of these adventures appears on Crank's first LP (on Fusetron, featuring two scared voices, whimpering under a highway overpass during the aforementioned storm). On top of that they all did a few duets in San Francisco and in Sacramento, CA; as well as a drought performance in Badlands, SD; a mud performance in Salt Lake City, UT; and a reenactment of a scene from the film, The Ten Commandments, at the Great Sand Dunes National Park, CO. During this time, Crank also experienced the first of many hallucinations pertaining to HUSO, providing fodder for his radio show, A Butte for Huso, which would begin airing in 1997.


"POLSE". When the Knifeboat Youth Brigade trio began to falter, another version begat this duet and Norwegian word for sausage. Minus the costumes, this cello and guitar thing went as far as it could before totally sounding like a Fred Frith Tom Cora project. Still, it had its glories: cello bridges snapping off mid-show, bookstore basement ragers, improvising off of audience titles. Exact dates unknown, Boston, MA
"Solo Sturg" Crank's first noise show took place following a phone call from Crank's art school pal, Mark, who later joined Skincrime. As a first show, minus mask even, Crank performed this what-would-become-the de rigueur noise show: obligatory drunkenness, that cruddy but awesome loud-ass sound system, making allies with whom would become future colleagues, and learning how to fend off hecklers. Why stop there? The date is still unknown, Lost Engine Gallery, Allston, MA


Crank continued his HUSO practices, recording stuff, making videos with his drag queen pal Midge, and appearing in a handful of Polse duets. There were also the more audacious outings, where Crank and his pal Hecky would show up at various art openings. The twosome would promptly get intoxicated and drool all over each other while critiquing art works (usually through personal loudspeakers). These were fluid performances, too: Crank would often let his alter ego J. Edgar Scholar take over, and one time, Crank transformed into a sad little boy with an enlarged head, named Fuvvie. All of these actions would become enshrined in a final group effort held at that place the Aerosmith guy owned. Dates unknown, perhaps it was in May, Mamakin, Boston, MA
"Crankabroad" Realizing another path existed for proper HUSO attainment, Crank left Boston and went overseas. Exact date unknown. Performed a bleeding-hand guitar-thing at the Termite Club, Leeds, UK
Shortly thereafter, and with bandaged hand, Crank made a nice trashbag pyramid mask (his first of many) and joined his seminal idols, Smell and Quim, Evil Moisture, Lol Coxhill, and Diz Willis for a lovely night of burning robot heads, UK-style Elvis impersonation, and someone wearing a mattress. This group family outing's date is still unknown, although it may have taken place in July, The Garage, London, UK


"A Butte for Huso" As mentioned earlier, there were hallucinations. HUSO began to appear everywhere, usually whenever there was the shape of a triangle interacting with a circle. While a number of these happened during the trip to Europe and Middle East, Crank codified said moments into palatable measurements in the form of a radio show program. The show aired regularly on WMPG from 1997 to 2004. Portland, ME
"El Vaquero Solitario despues Huso". Appearing in a triangular fishy-head and tremulous voice, Crank (as El) slushed an amplified water bottle about the theatre while wailing to the deaf gods his loathsome plight (something about mystical visions that occurred following a tasty meal of a 13 foot sturgeon, aptly named, HUSO). The rancor that ensued would be the clatter-some earmark for rest of this tale, and probably to this day -- that is to say, an ongoing saga about falling down a lot, wearing impossible costumes, taking on impossible tasks, all accompanied with the perennial wagging trail of contact mics. The Villa Victoria Theatre, Boston, MA. Exact date unknown. May 1997
"Anti-first", Clog was a cardboard robot and old pal of Crank. The two decided to team up with amplified toys, cardboard props, and a show that mostly involved hitting each other. At their debut show, they still hadn't decided on a project name yet. A toss-up of four names brewed in the turgid pot of noise and duct tape: Anti-Friend Hut, Blampy Stamp, Brontosphere, and Portable Man Boy Lyceum. So at this very first public outing, the last name on the list was declared, but only seemed to ensure an even-more abstruse destiny, not to mention, uncertainty in a hetero-normative indie-dominated music scene. This took place at Zootz, Portland, ME, possibly June 1997
"Saturday Matinee" the jazz of hitting each other with amplified sticks, Clog & Crank trundled their routine to a larger populace, in a town that would become a second performance-home for the next twenty years. While this was Crank & Clog's 2nd ever performance, the Anti-Friend Hut name still hadn't quite stuck, and the onomatopoeia-ish "Blampy Stamp" moniker held court over this program. RRRecords, Lowell, MA 06.21.97
"Commode Minstrels in..." Crank met Chris Cooper during these days. CC had just moved to Portland from San Franssssco. Being that weirdo-noise-doods have a secret pact worldwide, the two were soon thick as thieves, and even did some shows to the aforementioned, wide-eyed (etc) audiences. These were good times, mind you, although scrappy noise bands usually opened a roommate's more popular pop-industrial project, er, something called "Teknotica Slut". Dates: elusive. Locations: Free St Taverna & Genos, Portland, ME, spring and summer of 1997
"All American Noise Tour" A weird failed appearance of Smell & Quim in America resulted in Crank joining a van with Emil Beaulieau, The Haters, Skincrime, and Angst Hase Pfeffer Nase. Let it be known that this was a tour, American-style, with highlights such as bad road food, travel plaza costumes (such as Emil's Bass Assassin character), performing as GX Jupitter-Larsen's stagehand every night (yes, CS is a Hater), and even a whimsical visit to Sturgeon, PA. Not to mention all the cities, spaces, galleries, cigarette-filled holes, cat-pee-encampments, and some truly vomit-reaking clubs. Providence, Philadelphia, NYC, Pittsburg, Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, Richmond, Frederick, and Chapel Hill. August 1997
"nothing more need be said" Unemployed, Crank dropped $25 into an envelope and became an ordained minister. 10.31.97
"Huso Zygote" Crank continued on this solo-solo performance bit, taking dunks into really unspecified outcomes... where were you for a detour with singing and video projected on-top-of nudity-table gdansk, speaker bzzzt, the very first appearance of a ventilation tube codpiece, and microphonic lozenge gulping sounds via amplified water bottle? "My baby Huso, my baby..." Tufts University, Somerville, MA 11.22.97


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