Contact Microphones, Noise-Makers, and Vocal Mics for 2013
Click on the photos for a better view.
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CLASSIC CONTACT MIC ($25)
Our flagship microphone is back in production! This is a "classic style" contact microphone; mounted to a guitar cable and terminated with a standard 1/4" guitar plug. What separates this microphone from the herd are its technical specifications and new additions. The improved Classic now features extra-durable Switchcraft brand guitar plugs, a new reenforced piezo design, and longer, skinnier cable (approximately 4' in length). It's ready to plug in and play.
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PLUG UGLY ($22)
The Plug Ugly is terminated to a female 1/4" jack, allowing you to use any length guitar cable. Best of all, the PU is designed to withstand not only the demands of touring, but also that of just being a klutz. A good dose of silicon is fastened to the mic AND the jack, so that pressure and vibrations are absorbed throughout the body, NOT the piezo element. The result is a contact mic that is extremely durable. Highly recommended for percussive use, harsh noise abuse, and quite possibly elephants. Cable not included.
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PLUG SP ($20)
Want something more sensitive? The Plug SP operates much like the Plug Ugly: take any length cable and plug it into its 1/4" female jack. Unlike the PU, the SP doesn't possess all the extra silicon, allowing for more delicate vibrations to be picked up. By no means dainty, the Plug SP also features the same tough, made-to-spec/piezo elements used in all the Crank mics. This contact mic is very well suited for electro-acoustic performance, as well as general studio use and field recording. Cable not included.
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SILO JACK ($30)
Quite possibly our toughest contact microphone! An elegant combination, the Silo Jack showcases the durability of the Plug Ugly with toughness of PVC! This mic will continue to croon, even while you scrub, bump, or do whatever it is you do to get your noise jams on. Great for studio use and live. This is the current version of the Silo Jack, filled with silicon for extra-reenforcement. Cable not included.
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DEPTH CHARGE GAMELAN ($30)
If one likes to shake it, then the DCG expertly follows through as an electric maraca with a twist! Loaded with rattles, a spring wobbler, and topped off with a big red button kill-switch, this little unit takes the crunch from my previous shaker model (the Crank-in-a-box) and blasts it up a notch by adding ricocheting reverb and on/off switching to the mayhem! A perfect accompaniment with noisy FX, heavy gain, and (of course) high volume.
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CAVIAR SUPREME ($30)
This kingly shaker box employs a fine, resonant tin that used to house Caspian caviar! Simply add a few nuts, bolts, pennies, what have you, plug it in, and play. For a few dimes more, there's also the Caspian Deluxe model ($40), which consists of the shaker plus a nice, tidy pile of CDs, tapes, block prints, and assorted sturgeon accoutrement. A regal gift for the Huso disciple!
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TOWN & MOUTH REPORT ($10)
This here is a raw little number... it's not a contact mic, but my version of a vocal mic. Affixing a weird lil' speaker to a 1/4" female jack, the T & M Report produces beautifully crude garble... supplying countless variations of vocalized gibbering, howls, and wailing. Plug it into big nasty FX for uber-vox, run it clean to sound like a lo-fi circus barker, OR even use it as a micro speaker. Cable not included.
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BARKY BOX ($35)
The Barky Box takes the simplicity of the Town & Mouth Report and combines it with the off/on switching you'd find in a CB microphone. Add your favorite noisy FX and it's amazing! Equipped with two switches -- one is an on/off switch, the other is a momentary switch -- Barky Box can roar, hiccup, or sputter with the press of a thumb. This mic is also terminated to a 1/4" female jack, so you can use any length cable.
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BOGGLE BLARGH ($25)
Ahh, the Boggle Blargh. This saucy radar dish adopts a standard light switch for its to-go regimen. By adding noisy or pitch-bending FX, the microphone can really shine, simulating glitches and cut-up sounds with the flick of its switch. Snazzy, jazzy, and simply unholy, don't bring it on the airplane without proper ID! Light bulb not included.
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MAGNIFICENT OBJECT ($20)
For an additional palette to your sonic canvas, try the Magnificent Object! Operating with a "readymade" philosophy, this is a contact mic housed in an old plastic film cartridge, which in turn acts as a funky resonator box. By adding cool wobbly stuff (like springs or plinky objects), the Magnificent Object transforms into a remarkable little all-in-one instrument. Wedge it under guitar strings, use it as a scrubber, attach it to metal strapping, add rubber bands, et cetera. As an additional testimonial, watch Crank put this into action! Beard not included.
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ORDERING: Prices include shipping for all orders within the USA.
If you're an international customer, bear in mind that as of 2013, the USPS has doubled the rates for overseas shipping. While I try to keep prices low for everyone, unfortunately this cost will be reflected in the order.
So how do you purchase one of these devices? Write down this curiously large email address or click on it to go to our contact page. Please let me know what your mailing address is. This will speed up the ordering process. 
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MUTANT MICROPHONES
Say, ever wonder what happens to all the one-off's, cosmetically challenged, and otherwise perfectly good (but nonetheless discontinued) products? Well, I have stacks of them: weirdly misshapen contact mics, bumpy Plug Uglies, and misfit items galore -- all at reduced prices. CLICK ON THE ABOVE PHOTO FOR OUR CURRENT LIST.
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(Click on this guy for some AUDIO SAMPLES!)
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(Click this pic for our PIEZO MANIFESTO!)
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Also, yes... we're on Etsy, too!
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